dwightkschrute
Dehydrated meat leaves me vulnerable to NONE of the situations I described previously.
| dwightkschrute When combatants from the other squad smell the steak, it could lead them right to me. |
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| dwightkschrute If I’m hiding in an elevated perch during a paintball battle, that steak becomes nothing less than a burden. |
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| dwightkschrute What good is a freshly grilled steak to me if I’m not sitting at a table? |
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| dwightkschrute ...also, newspapers. |
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| dwightkschrute I perform everything that I do with gusto, including lunch. |
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| dwightkschrute My favorite movie? 1986's "The Wraith" starring Charlie Sheen. |
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| dwightkschrute I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose…and a panther. |
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| dwightkschrute I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of pigs watching. |
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| dwightkschrute The eyes are the groin of the head. |
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| dwightkschrute FACT: more crime occurs during full moons than all of the other partial moons combined [source: imagination]. Makes you think, doesn’t it? |
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| dwightkschrute cats do not provide milk, or wool, or meat. |
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| dwightkschrute I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones. |
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| dwightkschrute Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. |
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| dwightkschrute I never let anyone walk behind me, 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear. |
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| dwightkschrute In the wild, healthcare is "ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run, a lion eats me and I'm dead!". Well I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead! |
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| dwightkschrute I'm traveling to New Zealand to walk the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor and to hike Mount Doom. |
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| dwightkschrute which puts me at a disadvantage because I bring my own water to work. |
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| dwightkschrute Studies show that more information is passed through watercooler gossip than through official memos |
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| dwightkschrute I know everything about film. I’ve seen over 240 of them. |
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