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DustinAbel

  1. (T-Pain voice) "a-Kataaaay! a-Dustaaaaay! a-sushaaaaay! Everything is T-Pain tonight, babe." -Actually just said to my girlfriend. 5:34 PM May 30th via Twitter for iPhone
  2. I guess I'll just jump off a cliff and die on impact now. 8:24 PM May 29th via Twitter for iPhone
  3. @samschneider13 I bet Aaron wishes you sucked as much penis as the Celtics do. 6:41 PM May 28th via web in reply to samschneider13
  4. I did some research and 1996 is definitely the best year for movie releases ever. "Kazaam", "Space Jam", and "Twister" are just a few. 5:27 PM May 28th via web
  5. :D RT @emilyishere: "Well that ass smacking isn't loud.... #awkward" 5:37 AM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  6. I'm in Germany trying to avoid driving into the assfarts. I mean, ausfahrts. twitter.com/DustinAbel/sta… 10:17 AM May 18th via web
  7. It's 2AM in Germany. Nothing but phone sex commercials with topless women. It sounds like the narrator is reading a list of auto parts. 4:55 PM May 17th via web
  8. Never realized how "I can't." translates into "I don't want to." until now. 7:46 AM May 17th via web
  9. @ChasidyMmhmm Already corrected. Go away. 2:25 PM May 11th via web in reply to ChasidyMmhmm
  10. If you drive a white Ford Crown Victoria and you're not a cop... Fuck you! I hope all the bad things in the world happen to you. 2:25 PM May 11th via web
  11. @emilyishere X___X DEAD! 6:53 PM May 5th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to emilyishere
  12. @emilyishere PS - Picture?! 6:11 PM May 5th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to emilyishere
  13. @emilyishere She always does. <3___<3 6:10 PM May 5th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to emilyishere
  14. @317Kim Just became my least favorite Pacers fan... 8:41 PM May 3rd via Twitter for iPhone in reply to 317Kim
  15. Apparently my sexual advances make my girlfriend just want to roll over and go to sleep. If you laugh at this I hate you! Seriously. 8:39 PM May 3rd via Twitter for iPhone
  16. @PatMcAfeeShow #Boomstick -- Not a penis joke. 2:53 PM May 3rd via web in reply to PatMcAfeeShow
  17. Ek voel ongewenste. 8:55 AM Apr 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  18. When you're talking to someone and they seem extremely reluctant in their response? Yeah, that... 7:43 AM Apr 20th via Twitter for iPhone
  19. The stats speak for themselves, bro. twitter.com/DustinAbel/sta… 7:30 AM Apr 16th via Twitter for iPhone
  • Name Dustin Abel
  • Location Indianapolis
  • Web http://jihadcowbo...
  • Bio Hi! What are you wearing? Pull your pants down! Nothing that I write on here is a joke. This is my life we're talking about.
269 Following 4,213 Followers 17 Listed
Nick Swardson lindybones B.J. Novak Emily Dunlap marisa gail Cody Zeller Scott Christopher Jeremy Lin Zach Porter Lorraine Cink Thad Castle Mike FickenDammt Ted Travelstead Grace Helbig $MOKE$ JMV1070 Kim Nguyen NBA Rumors Bill Maher Sami Schneider Bob Kravitz Dustin Abel Sasha Grey Dan Dakich Cody Zeller Fake catherine Matt O'Brien Andy Gray R. Kelly Jason Segel Todd Marrone Grantland lloyd krismas C-Rayz Walz Angela ✈ Johnathon Carter ✈