dustandair
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RT @: In the early 90s, Michael J. Fox channeled his love of epic Old English poetry into the little-seen "Teen Beowolf".
6:50 PM Nov 25th
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To those families who stuff their turkeys in all holes: you people are sick.
6:29 PM Nov 25th
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Correction: Your mother is not being "stuffed like a turkey"; turkeys are only stuffed in one hole. We regret the error.
5:28 PM Nov 25th
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RT @: Real men have biological glocks.
7:29 AM Nov 25th
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Hitchcock wanted the title to be South By Northwest, but the studio decided to go another direction with it.
6:59 PM Nov 23rd
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I'm working on a reboot of the knock-knock joke franchise. What's the onomatopoeia for a ringtone?
12:26 PM Nov 23rd
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You know you're head-over-heels in love when your girlfriend likes giving blowjobs even more than shopping for shoes.
11:44 AM Nov 23rd
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The elusive cowdozer is usually found in her burrow suckling her young or, rarely, grazing in quarries or dried riverbeds.
10:00 AM Nov 23rd
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Just got spam from : Click Here for Disc0unt LHC: She wnts u have bigger collider; try now big bang guaranteed!!1!
3:20 PM Nov 20th
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I don't get why banks have safety deposit boxes. Why can't they have bathrooms like everyone else?
12:19 PM Nov 20th
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Mustache rides are a sacred institution between a man and a woman. Support Proposition 69 and ban gay mustache rides!
12:04 PM Nov 20th
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Friends come and go, but videos of them doing so last forever.
11:39 AM Nov 20th
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A man walks into a bar with two queues, gets in one, gets to the front, and asks for gin. The bartender says, "This is the punch line."
2:50 PM Nov 19th
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Are we really getting a new moon? I hope we recycle the old one.
12:15 PM Nov 19th
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I'm not saying I invented fisting, but I had a hand in it.
11:59 AM Nov 19th
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RT @: Today I decided to go around groping men. I don't know why, I was just feeling nuts.
3:37 PM Nov 18th
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Snowman's parents are always asking when he's going to meet an ice girl and get married.
3:13 PM Nov 17th
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I hate finding out I misunderstood a word or phrase for years, like "killing them with kindness" - boy, did I have that wrong.
2:42 PM Nov 17th
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If word gets out that is offering free carnival games and rides, the media is going to have a field day.
2:31 PM Nov 17th
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The phrase "jet set lifestyle", coined in the 1950s, lost much of its cachet as toy plane collecting became more affordable.
5:39 PM Nov 15th
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- Name dustandair
- Location Here's lookin at you, tits.
- Bio A man walks into a bar with two queues, gets in one, gets to the front, and asks for gin. The bartender says, 'This is the punch line.'
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