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That feeling when you're fighting zombies and run out of ammo.about 8 hours agovia web
It's better to push something away that's slipping, than to risk being dragged down. Okay but only if that's really why you pushed me down.about 8 hours agovia web
Everyone says there's plenty more fish in the sea but that only works if you're attracted to fish!4:36 PM May 30thvia web
Seen Mexicans running a peach stand today makes me wonder, does that mean white people did the picking?2:16 PM May 30thvia web
That awkward moment when your mom turns into a zombie and tries to eat you!9:00 AM May 30thvia web
I just had a wet dream last night that would have put me in jail had been real.8:48 AM May 30thvia web
That feeling when you hid something so nobody else would find it, But now you can't find!6:14 PM May 29thvia web
My hand is more upset that I'm single then I am.3:38 PM May 29thvia web
Life is like one long climax I just hope I don't cum prematurely.5:05 PM May 28thvia web
Text a random number saying. Okay I hid the body Now what?4:58 PM May 28thvia web
There are things I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you, makes it so tempting to tell you.2:01 PM May 28thvia web
Comedy Central should televise the Special Olympics.11:12 PM May 27thvia web
Hooters the only restaurant where you hope your waitress sucks.9:06 PM May 26thvia web
When I can't find my underwear I wear swimming trunks.6:03 PM May 26thvia web
I hate when you get caught cheating because then you have to make a decision.5:58 PM May 26thvia web
BioJustin Bieber inspired me to believe in my dreams. Last night I dreamed I killed Justin Bieber. Uncut, Sitting Down Comedian. http://www.facebook.com/duhtFace