drinkyclown
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Just because my problems are first world problems doesn't make them less annoying! I just can't believe nobody will sell me an elephant.
8:26 AM Dec 16th
from web
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@ too many lady gaga videos will totally do that
7:23 PM Dec 14th
from web
in reply to goldfischegirl
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What a cranky mall Santa! I thought he'd be stoked to not have a screaming kid in his lap for once.He sure liked the flask I brought though.
8:56 AM Dec 14th
from web
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Jeez, who doesn't like christmas music? I'm just trying to bring some holiday cheer to this bus. Hey, the tuba is a very soulful instrument!
9:02 AM Dec 11th
from web
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Since when do evil henchmen have a union? I didn't become a mad scientist so I could settle labor disputes, mediate with the death ray!
9:33 AM Dec 10th
from web
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My friend was worried about second-guessing themselves. I was like, Ha! Amateur. I can get up to tenth- or twelfth- before giving up on it!
8:16 AM Dec 9th
from web
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Whoa man it is cold out! Still, nobody wants to try my microwave coat. C'mon, as long as you don't have body piercings, it'll be fine!
8:59 AM Dec 8th
from web
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Burglar alarms are so pointless! I do home security the old-fashioned way, four guys on the roof with a kettle of boiling oil. Also,archers.
9:21 AM Dec 7th
from web
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Well, the USDA just raided and shut down my farmville! They kept using words like "atrocity", but you know how they're prone to hyperbole.
9:16 AM Dec 4th
from web
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HEY GUYS I INVENTED THE PERFECT KEYBOARD ALL THE PUNCTUATION KEYS ARE REPLACED BY CAPSLOCK AND CAPSLOCK IS ALWAYS ON
10:32 AM Dec 3rd
from web
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Okay, so when you rob a bank you're supposed to put pantyhose on your head? I thought it was pants, and robbed a dry-cleaners by accident.
9:47 AM Dec 2nd
from web
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The romance sub-plots in Dragon Age are too much like real life, you have to give them your jewelry and booze before they'll sleep with you!
9:03 AM Dec 1st
from web
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I can't build a robot that doesn't go berserk and try to destroy humanity! I guess I shouldn't use the internet to teach them about people.
10:35 AM Nov 30th
from web
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Oh man, who turned the gravity up so high? So wasteful! Not only can I barely move, but this month's gravity bill is going to be immense.
9:13 AM Nov 25th
from web
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I wouldn't have put a nest of fire ants under your bed if I knew you were going to be a baby about it! It's not like they're really on fire.
10:24 AM Nov 24th
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This courtroom is so boring! Whatever happened to trial by fire? If there's a bed of coals nearby, we can get some answers from these guys.
9:56 AM Nov 23rd
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So I decided a while back to live every day as if it were my last, but I got sick of skydiving all the time so I cut it out.
8:55 AM Nov 20th
from web
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RT @: All I'm saying is if you're locked in struggle with your nemesis Levi Johnston, maybe you aren't ready to lead the nation.
9:27 AM Nov 17th
from web
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Well usually you can complain when someone is "phoning it in",but this is different. No one writes ransom notes anymore, get with the times!
9:16 AM Nov 16th
from web
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A lot of people complain about product placement in movies and games, but I'm far more annoyed by all the product placement in real life.
10:43 AM Nov 13th
from web
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- Name Planet X
- Location Seattle
- Bio You know what? These internets could really use some dumbing down.
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