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DrinkingForTwo

new blog http//memoirsofasquirrelchaser.blogspot.com 6:33 AM Oct 24th from web
we fell on tough times. all we had left was some bread, an onion and half a bag of bacon bites. those were the best sandwiches. 4:14 PM Jun 15th from web
how long should you stare at a blocked toilet in a public restroom 4:30 AM Jun 6th from web
should I be proud that when I asked my daughter what the tweezer things in her toy Doctor's kit were for she answered 'to remove the eyes'. 6:30 PM Jun 1st from web
how come you never see baby squirrels 4:27 AM May 9th from web
if i win the lottery i'm going to spend all my money having press conferences. 'thanks for coming everyone today I ate toast with cheese'. 5:02 PM May 6th from web
aliens don't have weight issues 10:10 AM May 3rd from web
looks like I have wine flu 4:03 PM Apr 30th from web
life is like a porno movie. no matter who you meet they're going to screw you. 5:09 PM Apr 24th from web
a dog is for life. not just for breakfast. 5:08 PM Apr 24th from web
@drinkingfortwo was here before @oprah http://herebeforeoprah.com #herebeforeoprah 3:55 AM Apr 20th from web
this head of mine hurts 6:07 AM Apr 19th from web
i prefer to call canned corn. corn off the cob in a can. 3:53 AM Apr 18th from web
i think it sucks that the grocery store is closed for easter sunday that shit went down 2000 years ago. talk about living in the past. 12:39 PM Apr 12th from web
i like it when women tell me that i have beautiful eyes. i take pride in my collection. 7:33 PM Apr 11th from web
you could do a lot of bad things in life but get caught dry humping a dead bigfoot and you're fucked for life. 4:33 AM Apr 8th from web
i think a cool magic trick would be to knit a sheep. 3:08 PM Apr 7th from web
wonders why we never have a moment of silence for all the cavemen, women and little cave children that became tasty treats for dinosaurs. 2:50 AM Apr 7th from web
I was the president of the dyslexia association of Canada. Our motto was 'a thousand words are worth a picture'. 2:57 PM Apr 3rd from web
They say that dogs make good pets. But is that only because we have never tried making lamps out of them? 2:57 PM Apr 3rd from web