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drewtoothpaste

  1. Twitter hacked today: server password was "PASSWORD." I got $10 that says they changed it to "123456." http://tinyurl.com/ok2kke
  2. Give me your tired, your poor, your uninsured masses, and let them angrily fight a public health-care plan. --Statue of Liberty
  3. Omegle is pretty funny - I've started saving my best chats. Here's a recent one: http://tinyurl.com/narqwj
  4. North Korea suspected in "cyberattacks." The country's Commodore 64 was seized as evidence.
  5. Made an 83-minute .AVI version of Jozin z Bazin, and now I'm uploading it to movie torrent sites as "Bruno.SCREENER".
  6. We don't cuss in front of Nona, so she made up her own cuss word: "Ning." Proof of genetic cuss-loving.
  7. Forgot about 12:34:56 7/8/9. I can't even obsess right. (gets mad, punches wall exactly 5 times)
  8. I bet Microsoft renames Windows to "Ding" within a year, and runs ads claiming that Google OS is just too confusing.
  9. Rockstar announces GTA:Pyongyang - the only car is a yellow 1970s Benz, but you can ramp it off the Ryungyong hotel.
  10. "Little people" want the FCC to ban the word "midget" on TV. Show your solidarity by Tweeting in 140 chars or less.
  11. Good news: We found a 1600-year-old bible! Bad news: No Easter story - Major plot hole. http://tinyurl.com/oq6bp2
  12. The only thing less plausible than a North Korean missile attack on the US is a successful Sarah Palin lawsuit against Twitter users.
  13. RIP Mosaic, gone 12 years but we will never forget you. See you at the crossroads.html (pours out a little 40.GIF) http://tinyurl.com/yltrrb
  14. Strickland (Ohio's governor) is doing badly in opinion polls. Wonder if that has to do with his plan to CLOSE HALF THE STATE'S LIBRARIES.
  15. OMG, the republicans are ruined forever. Sarah Palin sex tape is out: http://bit.ly/tN82
  16. Sarah Palin resigns July 26: "Me and Soulja Boy are both taking time off to learn to speak English," read a bulletin she sent to the press.
  17. Five new TFD shirts in the store! Featuring the return of Panflute Flowchart and Bad Poetry. http://sharingmachine.com
  18. Just realized Operation: Repo wasn't real yesterday, when I saw the pre-show disclaimer for the first time. :(
  19. I am a sick man, a sad man, an unattractive man. I think my liver is diseased. People who eat basil are lame. --Dostoyevsky
  20. I am consumed by Jožin z bažin; my sleepless nights haunted by its melody. Must go to Prague to lift the dark curse. http://bit.ly/tN82