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diegoalexander

  1. Everybody laughs at me when I ask them to teach me how to tell when a fruit is rape enough to eat. about 4 hours ago via Favstar.FM
  2. So I was having trouble strapping my baby in her car seat today and that's when it struck me, I don't have a baby. 10:20 AM May 28th via Favstar.FM
  3. Sometimes I wish I had kids but I don't think I'm ready to share my toys. 9:52 PM May 26th via Favstar.FM
  4. I bet the first cavemen had weird dreams where they suddenly realized they WERE wearing pants. 9:16 AM May 26th via Favstar.FM
  5. My ex broke up with me because I called her ugly. Like its MY fault she's ugly. 3:54 PM May 25th via Favstar.FM
  6. I bought a rabbit. Now, I'm gonna try to shoot him and see if he tries to kiss me. He's dead. 8:01 PM May 24th via Favstar.FM
  7. To me eyeglasses are like condoms. I have them, but I don't like wearing them. 9:19 PM May 22nd via Favstar.FM
  8. My friend wanted my help to end his heroine addiction. So I met up with him, and stole all of his money. 8:58 PM May 22nd via Favstar.FM
  9. Thanks for the RTs guys! White Power! ~ @Shaunyness @pauldwane @SonKissed79 @_hollycaust @tacky_lulz @thatfinguy @YourFavMexi_Canh @k8lame 8:34 PM May 22nd via Favstar.FM
  10. I think I just had sex. OMG I'm bleeding. 6:24 PM May 21st via Favstar.FM
  11. It's amazing how we used to talk to each other only using our mouths. 11:13 AM May 20th via Favstar.FM
  12. If each of my followers gave me 1 dollar, I'd have 1,650 stupid followers. 8:55 AM May 19th via Favstar.FM
  13. I'm trying to think of different ways to ask out my crush but I have nothing. It would be a lot easier without the restraining order. 8:37 PM May 17th via Favstar.FM
  14. My chest hurts. I think they are finally growing! 9:59 PM May 15th via Favstar.FM
  15. I ran out of Harry Potter references to impress a girl from London. I always knew it would come in useful to watch Spice World. 7:15 PM May 14th via Favstar.FM
  16. "Let he who is without sin, cast the first OW! Oh my god! Oh my god!" - Jesus, the first time he tried it. 8:09 PM May 13th via Favstar.FM
  17. I pretend I'm adopted on Mother's Day. 7:56 AM May 13th via Favstar.FM
  • Name Diego Alexander
  • Location Body in S.C. / Mind in Jersey.
  • Web http://www.witstr...
  • Bio WitStream contributor. On tour starting Feb. 1st in South Carolina for 6 months in my brother's basement.
288 Following 1,664 Followers 400 Listed
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