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demonbaby

  1. @drummermoe Hey, I like Ikea. These people are talking about it like it's a tool of Satan. about 8 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to drummermoe
  2. "Ikea furniture is made for one purpose: To make money off of idiots who don't know diddlysquat about nothin'!" #OverheardAtThanksgiving about 8 hours ago from TweetDeck
  3. "I went into one of those Ikeas. I'll never go back! What a joke!" "I hate 'em! It's a maze full of junk!" #OverheardAtThanksgiving about 8 hours ago from TweetDeck
  4. "To get into Heaven you need faith. It's more about beliefs than actions. That's how Jesus will judge you." #OverheardAtThanksgiving about 10 hours ago from TweetDeck
  5. "There's too much sex in books these days! There should be a library that only has books with no sex in them!" #OverheardAtThanksgiving about 11 hours ago from TweetDeck
  6. @riggssm Actually, it's not a bad holiday at all. I just thrive on sarcasm. about 13 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to riggssm
  7. @theoohlas Duh. Where else would it be? about 14 hours ago from TweetDeck
  8. Of course someone had to say Grace. He thanked Jesus for the meal. Thank my Mom, asshole, she made it. about 14 hours ago from TweetDeck
  9. Yes Grandma, I'd love to hear about all your body parts that are causing you pain. Let me pull up a chair, I don't want to miss any of this. about 15 hours ago from TweetDeck
  10. @SeeIntoInfinity That is darrrrrrk. about 15 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to SeeIntoInfinity
  11. @SeeIntoInfinity Now THAT's good conversation. Wait, people who puke out poop? Medically or fetishistically? about 15 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to SeeIntoInfinity
  12. @trentvanegas Aww, golly, you know how to make a guy blush. about 15 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to trentvanegas
  13. Family seems to be having a "who can have the least interesting conversation" contest. Uncle's in the lead, talking about vacuum cleaners. about 15 hours ago from TweetDeck
  14. A certain unnamed relative's breath smells like he has an anus in the back of his throat that squirts out hot plumes of stink when he talks. about 16 hours ago from TweetDeck
  15. Yeah Mom, let's all talk about menopause. Good idea. I'll be anywhere other than this room if you need me. about 17 hours ago from TweetDeck
  16. FYI, lady, while you're talking to me, this is what's going on in my head: "Don'tcaredon'tcaredon'tcaredon'tcaredon'tcaredon'tcare..." about 17 hours ago from TweetDeck
  17. @DrunkDialers Dude, we get it. about 18 hours ago from TweetDeck in reply to DrunkDialers
  18. So many great quotes coming out of @DrunkDialers today. Follow them for Twitter's best tragic drunken sideshow. about 19 hours ago from TweetDeck
  19. RT @DrunkDialers: It's not my fault Grandma is blind and annoying. Why do I gotta talk to her? The Pilgrims wouldn't tolerate this bullshit. about 21 hours ago from TweetDeck
  20. @tiffamander *I* love you. Keep on keepin' on, Tiff. 1:56 AM Nov 26th from Tweetie in reply to tiffamander