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delmonifieth

Q: How can you tell if you’re at a bulimic bachelor party? A: The cake jumps out of the girl. 1:23 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
Q: Why did Hitler commit suicide?A: He got the gas bill. 1:13 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.' 1:05 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
Why did Captain Kirk pee on the ceiling?He wanted to go where no man had ever gone before 1:00 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?Polaroids 12:57 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed?He had low elf esteem 12:55 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?Klondike 12:54 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag 12:53 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism 12:52 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed and the chicken is smoking a cigarette. I guess we know which one came first. 12:45 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying, "Yo" 12:44 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common? Men miss them all. 12:43 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
Q: What soldiers smell of salt and pepper?A: Seasoned troopers. 12:43 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
Q: What should you give an elf who wants to be taller? A: Elf raising flour 12:36 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up. 12:22 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
Polynesia -- memory loss in parrots. 12:21 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 12:20 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it. 12:18 PM Nov 18th from TweetDeck
Twitter's newest game! Let's play. http://elven.140blood.com/?... 11:02 AM Nov 18th from 140 Blood
What's the difference between a Hedgehog and a Porsche? The pricks are on the outside 5:51 AM Nov 18th from TweetDeck

Name derek stewart
Location monifieth, scotland
Web http://mamdram
Bio nurse, am dram queen & father of 2 children living with dog, cats, fish OOH!! & weenick(the wife)