When I start watching shuffling videos on YouTube it's like entering a black hole.

The free credit report guy, the pizza hut song guy, and pomplamoose should form a supergroup.

Video idea "shit it gets better says"

These women's matches are easy to watch but impossible to listen to. #ausopen

@cbfowler I would love to watch these matches, but I just can't. I just want booth commentary. #mutethecourt

Per conversation with joe, Vietnamese restaurant Pho Nesex

Did Obama just save #community?

"In ten years, we will have reduced elevator farts by nearly 60%." #SOTU

Obama Begins State Of The Union By Asking Congress To Imagine Newt Gingrich Standing Before Them onion.com/wuwaBW

The bathroom at work is the worst I've seen in my career. I refuse to do business there after 11am.

@michaelianblack @hodgman draft ken Jennings! #mormonheroes

Jean Van de Velde thinks Kyle Williams and Billy Cundiff were pretty clutch today.

@KitsonLA Is Kitson ready to stock the best selling bathroom book of the century? amazon.com/Kama-Pootra-Mi… #kamapootraisreal

This Wikipedia SOPA protest just became real when I tried to lookup the results to last night's Bachelor elimination.

I'm totally listening to 90's ska revival tonight.

I like to start hypotheticals with "If I were me, I'd..."

When I'm watching a video on the iPad and the screen goes black for a second, the reflection of me looking at myself freaks me out.

@RachelFeinstein you'd have to ask his boyfriend

Taco bell has discontinued my beloved Baja chalupa.

Alex smith > tebow