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dbmcisaac

  1. I miss being that girl that only wants to talk to her bird.
  2. HOW is it still there? RT @jeremykohler: Quote of the century: "OK, why is there a dead deer in my crime scene?" -Lt. Janice Bockstruck.
  3. Who invented the phrase "let completely cool before frosting," and why was that person such a terrible bastard?
  4. Whenever I'm the tallest person in an elevator I think about how if a beam crashes through the ceiling, I'll die first.
  5. I can't even tell you how obsessed I've decided to be with Breaking Pointe.
  6. Now could everyone please pay me for that excerpt? #microbloggingmybook #amidoingthatright?
  7. "You shouldn't eat by the book, by the pyramid or by the pie chart. You should just eat pie." I'm writing a weight loss cookbook/memoir.
  8. So because I lead an active lifestyle I should drink shit beer. Is that what you are telling me, online Miller 64 ads?
  9. I can't wait to go to The Container Store 50 times between tomorrow and Monday. Why do I always end up moving Memorial Day weekend?
  10. @EHarmeyer @courtneyruth1 @eandes 1st one of us to get married does a 24-hour brunch tour as a bachelorette party @problemsolved #JACKSON
  11. @EHarmeyer @courtneyruth1 @eandes "hey fatty, look at me"
  12. Every time Alyssa Milano's UNICEF commercial comes on I expect City High lyrics
  13. @Thrubble I only make jokes with 800 different things going on at once
  14. @EHarmeyer @eandes @courtneyruth1 probably at the Electric Cowboy
  15. Always question my outfit, even if I'm wearing a sorority bid day tshirt from 2007 #roommatecode #movingclothes #scholarshipchair @Thrubble