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dblackattack

  1. Watch @nicolebyer and Myself bother @TheRealDratch, buy her book! youtube.com/watch?v=MQ9Me5… 9:15 AM Apr 6th via web
  2. I appreciate the homemade birthday cake, but the stripper that popped out of it was clearly store-bought, put in some fucking effort! 8:58 AM Apr 5th via web
  3. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, I'm on the border of having a personality. 5:24 PM Apr 4th via web
  4. WARNING GUYS! the new ipad 3 gets really hot, do NOT try to balance it on your boner, use your ipad 2 or just grow up already, seriously. 3:21 PM Mar 23rd via web
  5. If Tim Tebow wants to be accepted in New York, he should wear his purity ring as a cock ring. 10:14 AM Mar 21st via web
  6. How long can Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel sing about unemployment and factory worker unions before it becomes insulting? 10:06 AM Mar 21st via web
  7. Im on your TV tonight, watch some real funny comics comment on music videos on FUSE's new show Video On Trial, 12:30 AM ET TONIGHT 9:11 AM Mar 8th via web
  8. I chugged a Muscle Milk meal replacement beverage in front of a homeless woman today, this is the definition of "piece of shit" 8:53 AM Mar 8th via web
  9. What to do if Jared Fogle the Subway guy is choking... twitter.com/dblackattack/s… 3:02 PM Feb 8th via Twitter for iPhone
  10. It's scary when Ghost Rider transforms back into Nicholas Cage 12:19 PM Jan 24th via Twitter for iPhone
  11. I love when the Giants win because I pretend the fratty dudes screaming "G-MEN" in the streets are untimely prop 8 protestors. 8:31 PM Jan 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  12. I don't need gingerbread lotion or a Xmas card with a picture of your child on it...Unless your daughter is hot, in that case I'll take both 6:04 PM Dec 28th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  13. I eat my feelings. When I feel hungry, I eat. 11:31 AM Dec 12th, 2011 via web
  14. Houston we have a problem... Apolo Ohno is back 8:35 AM Nov 16th, 2011 via web
  15. Have any dead bodies been discovered by cops due to the deceased twitter followers reporting that they havent tweeted in a while? #thefuture 8:23 AM Nov 11th, 2011 via web
  16. THIS JUST IN: Cher, Chaz Bono's mother, was charged with Involuntary ManDaughter. 10:34 AM Nov 1st, 2011 via web
  17. #StingUCB Help us bring sting to UCB NY Nov 7th 7 PM to see Famblys show celebrating Stings 1999 hit Brand New Day newyork.ucbtheatre.com/shows/view/2925 7:16 AM Nov 1st, 2011 via web
  18. Im becoming an uncle this week, cant wait to try my first placenta soup!!!! 2:18 PM Oct 24th, 2011 via web
  • Name Dan Black
  • Location New York City
  • Bio Long Island Douche Bag: improviser, stand up, writer, & all around rockin dude.
673 Following 1,145 Followers 18 Listed
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