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dblackattack

  1. Watch @nicolebyer and Myself bother @TheRealDratch, buy her book! youtube.com/watch?v=MQ9Me5…
  2. I appreciate the homemade birthday cake, but the stripper that popped out of it was clearly store-bought, put in some fucking effort!
  3. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, I'm on the border of having a personality.
  4. WARNING GUYS! the new ipad 3 gets really hot, do NOT try to balance it on your boner, use your ipad 2 or just grow up already, seriously.
  5. If Tim Tebow wants to be accepted in New York, he should wear his purity ring as a cock ring.
  6. How long can Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel sing about unemployment and factory worker unions before it becomes insulting?
  7. Im on your TV tonight, watch some real funny comics comment on music videos on FUSE's new show Video On Trial, 12:30 AM ET TONIGHT
  8. I chugged a Muscle Milk meal replacement beverage in front of a homeless woman today, this is the definition of "piece of shit"
  9. What to do if Jared Fogle the Subway guy is choking... twitter.com/dblackattack/s…
  10. It's scary when Ghost Rider transforms back into Nicholas Cage
  11. I love when the Giants win because I pretend the fratty dudes screaming "G-MEN" in the streets are untimely prop 8 protestors.
  12. I don't need gingerbread lotion or a Xmas card with a picture of your child on it...Unless your daughter is hot, in that case I'll take both
  13. I eat my feelings. When I feel hungry, I eat.
  14. Houston we have a problem... Apolo Ohno is back
  15. Have any dead bodies been discovered by cops due to the deceased twitter followers reporting that they havent tweeted in a while? #thefuture
  16. THIS JUST IN: Cher, Chaz Bono's mother, was charged with Involuntary ManDaughter.
  17. #StingUCB Help us bring sting to UCB NY Nov 7th 7 PM to see Famblys show celebrating Stings 1999 hit Brand New Day newyork.ucbtheatre.com/shows/view/2925
  18. Im becoming an uncle this week, cant wait to try my first placenta soup!!!!