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davio1962

  1. I will never present another scientific theory in front of THIS panel of horses. Stupid naysayers. about 7 hours ago from dabr
  2. Sometimes I wonder if after it lost planetary status, the inhabitants of Pluto were forced to use Neptune's zip code. about 12 hours ago from dabr
  3. I have one of those fold-up bikes, but after I finish, I always end up with a swan. about 19 hours ago from dabr
  4. Don't you just love those made-up Mexican terms like "chalupa", "chimichanga" and "secure border"? 5:00 PM Nov 24th from dabr
  5. Perhaps if I ever learned to fling something other than doilies, there would be a greater demand today for my Ninja Assassin skills. 12:03 PM Nov 24th from dabr
  6. I will not rest until cows are rightfully referred to as, "Land Manatees". 8:59 AM Nov 24th from dabr
  7. Embarrassing is when you discover some dental floss stuck between your teeth. Even more embarrassing is when you trip over it. 4:28 AM Nov 24th from dabr
  8. Barbecuing after nightfall is easier than it sounds because these out-of-control flames illuminate the entire area quite nicely. 5:02 PM Nov 23rd from dabr
  9. I would understand you better if you didn't all talk at the same time. And if you stopped speaking Pakistani. 11:57 AM Nov 23rd from dabr
  10. After that lunch, what was formerly known as "The Fire In My Belly" has moved a few sectors due south. 8:58 AM Nov 23rd from dabr
  11. I look back on that frustrating experience called "Potty Training", only to realize now that the potty knew how to do its job all along. 4:28 AM Nov 23rd from dabr
  12. Sometimes I write "cease and desist" letters to charities and then affix the return address labels they sent me in their last solicitation. 5:07 PM Nov 22nd from dabr
  13. Just sitting here paying bills. And other guys not named Bill. 12:32 PM Nov 22nd from dabr
  14. What do you mean you shred bills only AFTER you pay them? Forgive me, but I really don't see the point in that. 9:02 AM Nov 22nd from dabr
  15. My friend's cholesterol count is at 295. My advice: when it hits 300...sell. 5:18 AM Nov 22nd from web
  16. Lesson learned. Next time I sign up for an amphibious tour of Boston, I'll just go with the flow and agree to use one of THEIR vehicles. 5:01 PM Nov 21st from dabr
  17. Raising the art of reusing paper towels to a whole new level. This one here remembers the Lyndon Johnson administration. 12:04 PM Nov 21st from dabr
  18. I was named one of @Mashable's "10 Most Forgettable People On Twitter". Regrettably, they didn't remember to include a link to my page. 9:02 AM Nov 21st from dabr
  19. The free coffee at this repair shop is a nice touch, but the requirement that you actually own a car is downright discriminatory. 5:57 AM Nov 21st from dabr
  20. No maître d' is going to tell me that my wardrobe isn't "up to snuff". I'll have you know, these are SILK pajamas. 5:01 PM Nov 20th from dabr