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davio1962

  1. @brianbolter Are you suggesting there is something TAINTED about last night's no-hitter? Or do you have a jumpy * key finger? about 1 hour ago via twicca in reply to brianbolter
  2. Driving is one thing I needed to learn but they never had the nerve to teach me in Kindergarten. about 4 hours ago via twicca
  3. Now that Johan Santana pitched a no-hitter for the Mets, he can return to his first love: playing searing guitar in a latin-tinged rock band about 14 hours ago via twicca
  4. America's Got Talent. Pick one. about 17 hours ago via twicca
  5. The only thing faster than the cell phones they keep advertising is my tiring of the advertisements. about 20 hours ago via twicca
  6. Remember, no one who's really classy uses the word, "classy". 5:21 AM Jun 1st via twicca
  7. Yesterday, my doctor referred to me as a "specimen" (and then asked me to lie in a petri dish). 5:05 AM May 31st via twicca
  8. Lost interest in pain management after I learned that it had nothing to do with how much you are allowed to inflict upon others. 12:57 PM May 30th via twicca
  9. Raked in several new LinkedIn connections after changing my job title from deli sandwich maker to master spy. 9:02 AM May 30th via twicca
  10. It was so humid yesterday that when I came home, I forgot I wasn't wearing a jacket and took off my skin by mistake. 5:01 AM May 30th via twicca
  11. Movie Sequel Idea: Tango and Cash and Carrie 5:28 AM May 29th via twicca
  12. Goat cheese: Now with 30% more goat. 1:04 PM May 28th via twicca
  13. I had a problem. I didn't know what to get the woman of my dreams for her birthday. So I asked my wife. Now I have 2 problems. 5:33 AM May 28th via twicca
  14. Seersucker. Freaky sex act or alien lifeform? 3:53 PM May 27th via twicca
  15. Rule of thumb: You're the one who must grasp things with the other fingers. 7:47 AM May 27th via twicca
  16. Currently in my house of worship, praying to God for an eternally cool pillowcase. 5:23 AM May 27th via twicca
  17. Wore my Speedo to the pool party. OK, fine..."billiards". 2:20 PM May 26th via twicca