Charles Dicken. #thisweek

Actor Charles Dance!

Except for Steve Coogan. #bbcqt

Philip Hammond has the crappest hair in the world. #bbcqt

Some bastard's nicked my blue wheelie bin.

What a namedropping twat.

I mean @michaelfahy, natch.

Spiffing evening feat @LisaAshurst @JustPRM @rozhughes @paulunger @simonbinns @Smudge_Jones @michalfahy @ThomHetheringto @jondrape etc.

@theorthot1st I have had some booze.

I demand to have some booze.

theres not a cat in hells chance I will be the next england manager, just want to concentrate on my form on the pitch #capello

Rosie 47 is the obvious choice to take over as England manager. With @AnfieldCat as her enforcer.

On a bus. Can already hear people debating who should be next England manager.

And fired by Sky? >> RT @SkyNewsBreak: Former England footballer Paul Merson given 14-month driving ban & fined £1,500 for drink driving.

The Guardian's attractively photographed guide to how to make a doner kebab "in your own home": gu.com/p/35376/tw

@laurabaker1 That's fair enough but idea of not being able to retweet other journalists is bizarre.

Whoever issued those new Sky News Twitter rules has gone mad. They make no sense and are totally out of step with other media including BBC.

@CameramanST No no no. I meant it would be something nice for you to spend money on in addition to 13 high-end point and shoot cameras.

@gwane Absolutely not.

@CameramanST Get some binoculars.