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davegorum

  1. Tony Danza accidentally ate an entire Pontiac Aztek. On purpose.
  2. No, Tony Danza won't be your little spoon! Tony Danza hunts men like you for sport.
  3. Tony Danza doesn't need your anti-radiation meds. Tony Danza shits on the chest of your nuclear winter!
  4. Tony Danza once ate a catcher's mask on a bet… the catcher's head was still in it.
  5. @giromide “Pulling a Bashir” OR “Cardassian Forehead Spoon” (mouth-breathes nerdily)
  6. @sandwichpolice Eating pancakes in a trenchcoat. As God intended.
  7. @giromide “Hatshepsut's Fallen Obelisk” (much coy winking)
  8. @ac_money “Gas Giant” (nods sympathetically)
  9. @giromide A likely story. (backs out of room, eyeing audience warily.)
  10. “Terrible Lizard” (slowly points to crotch)
  11. @Tony_D Shows what you know. The liferaft was actually a cloning pod. My army of Tonys will be unstoppable!
  12. @ImAwake2 Baaah, it's mutton.
  13. @CranberryPerson A halloween sheep queen? That's a baaaad combo. It's shear luck you hoofed it when you did. All's wool that ends wool.
  14. @wordtoyourmom Your drunk girl flashmob was a success! The turnout was stupendous and many regrets were made. Well done!
  15. @muchty The hunt was merry, the hippogriff was delicious, and Brian only drunkenly staved in one servant's head with a mace. Success!
  16. @JephKelley I GET IT! "Stuffed crab." Ha ha ha, classic Jeph. But seriously, I would never eat a stuffed animal. Gross.
  17. @nonsequiturific ...unfortunately while reaching for the clever, the Universe grabbed a cleaver instead. Which is why I'm great at division.
  18. @paul_e_wog I hope being me scored you tons of talent yesterday. It's a blessing and a curse being this manly and virile. As you now know.
  19. @Jessabelle2o7 Waiting for my hair clippings. This bald golem babe ain't gonna animate itself.
  20. @crispycracka No, no. You see, everyone is celebrating my birthday by dressing up. Halloween means Birth of Dave in Latin. Common mistake.