davegorum
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"There's nothing worse than a gassy honey badger." — Marie Antoinette
12:10 AM Dec 28th
from web
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If the pen is mightier than the sword, this giant novelty pencil must be mightier than a tank. What I'm saying is, this is a stickup.
12:02 AM Dec 28th
from web
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@ In the works, my friend, in the works.
5:19 PM Dec 25th
from Tweetie
in reply to justingoboom
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I look like a holiday dumpster corpse, so I'm smashing anything with a reflective surface. It's a Christmas Mirror Cull!
1:54 PM Dec 25th
from Tweetie
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Jesus hates low fidelity novelty fireplace videos. Go HD or go home.
8:12 AM Dec 25th
from web
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@ This is why our brain trust rakes in the high quality money.
10:53 AM Dec 24th
from web
in reply to mayafish
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In bed.
10:43 AM Dec 24th
from web
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Hm, that reads more like a pair of velociraptors expressing their passion for one another.
10:42 AM Dec 24th
from web
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Construction OH: SCREEEEEE CHAH CHAH DICKITDICKITSCREEEEE ZZZZRRRRRUP!
10:41 AM Dec 24th
from web
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RT @: a
12:27 AM Dec 23rd
from web
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Resigned to its fate, the muffin whimpered and was devoured.
9:28 AM Dec 21st
from Birdhouse
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Like Mayo Through the Hourglass, So Are the Toppings of Our Sandwich
3:29 PM Dec 18th
from web
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Eating a sandwich.
2:26 PM Dec 18th
from web
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@ YOU'RE WELCOME.
11:30 AM Dec 18th
from web
in reply to eoporto
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You see Cougar Night at the local watering hole. I see the makings of a creepy sex Voltron.
10:12 AM Dec 17th
from Tweetie
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In other news... Lobster Tap Dance Extravaganza!
9:58 AM Dec 17th
from web
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RT @: A truer-to-life Kay Jewelers ad: Guy says "I love you," opens a ring box, she looks shocked, then some T-Rexes enter and
...
7:53 PM Dec 15th
from web
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I tried working up a joke involving Visiogoths, but my chart isn't in it.
7:24 AM Dec 7th
from Tweetie
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After a night of hammering street justice into worthless slimebags, I like to relax with a nice cup of VigilanTEA.
8:58 AM Dec 4th
from Tweetie
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She is the inventor of the platypus, the traffic cone, and the velociraptor in a party hat. Happy Birthday, @!
11:57 AM Dec 2nd
from Tweetie
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- Name Jimmithy
- Location Chicago / NYC
- Web http://davegorum.com
- Bio I design Carbonmade. Quip, quip, wit.
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