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davegorum

  1. "There's nothing worse than a gassy honey badger." — Marie Antoinette 12:10 AM Dec 28th from web
  2. If the pen is mightier than the sword, this giant novelty pencil must be mightier than a tank. What I'm saying is, this is a stickup. 12:02 AM Dec 28th from web
  3. @justingoboom In the works, my friend, in the works. 5:19 PM Dec 25th from Tweetie in reply to justingoboom
  4. I look like a holiday dumpster corpse, so I'm smashing anything with a reflective surface. It's a Christmas Mirror Cull! 1:54 PM Dec 25th from Tweetie
  5. Jesus hates low fidelity novelty fireplace videos. Go HD or go home. 8:12 AM Dec 25th from web
  6. @mayafish This is why our brain trust rakes in the high quality money. 10:53 AM Dec 24th from web in reply to mayafish
  7. In bed. 10:43 AM Dec 24th from web
  8. Hm, that reads more like a pair of velociraptors expressing their passion for one another. 10:42 AM Dec 24th from web
  9. Construction OH: SCREEEEEE CHAH CHAH DICKITDICKITSCREEEEE ZZZZRRRRRUP! 10:41 AM Dec 24th from web
  10. RT @baileygenine: a 12:27 AM Dec 23rd from web
  11. Resigned to its fate, the muffin whimpered and was devoured. 9:28 AM Dec 21st from Birdhouse
  12. Like Mayo Through the Hourglass, So Are the Toppings of Our Sandwich 3:29 PM Dec 18th from web
  13. Eating a sandwich. 2:26 PM Dec 18th from web
  14. @eoporto YOU'RE WELCOME. 11:30 AM Dec 18th from web in reply to eoporto
  15. You see Cougar Night at the local watering hole. I see the makings of a creepy sex Voltron. 10:12 AM Dec 17th from Tweetie
  16. In other news... Lobster Tap Dance Extravaganza! 9:58 AM Dec 17th from web
  17. RT @JephKelley: A truer-to-life Kay Jewelers ad: Guy says "I love you," opens a ring box, she looks shocked, then some T-Rexes enter and ... 7:53 PM Dec 15th from web
  18. I tried working up a joke involving Visiogoths, but my chart isn't in it. 7:24 AM Dec 7th from Tweetie
  19. After a night of hammering street justice into worthless slimebags, I like to relax with a nice cup of VigilanTEA. 8:58 AM Dec 4th from Tweetie
  20. She is the inventor of the platypus, the traffic cone, and the velociraptor in a party hat. Happy Birthday, @dannisaur! 11:57 AM Dec 2nd from Tweetie