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danozzi

  1. TIP FOR LADIES: Always carry an extra pair of underwear just in case you see a guy wearing a shirt with a rhinestone tiger on it. 5:56 PM May 31st via Twitter for iPhone
  2. @TomHanksIsHot I'm ok. Two more plastic surgeries and I'll be much better. 10:39 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone in reply to TomHanksIsHot
  3. Have we talked about how @TomHanksIsHot is a terrific human? 9:53 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  4. Totally mind-married like 5 people on the train just now. 5:08 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  5. Working hard or hardly working? Neither, I'm building a likeness of myself out of bacon, thanks for asking. 9:30 AM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  6. Nosebleeds are a fun way for your body to remind you that it has the power to embarrass you at any minute. 8:52 PM May 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  7. Sorry, can't give Romney a pass on this Bain thing. Being associated with Batman villains is something the American people won't stand for. 10:09 AM May 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  8. I try to give rappers the benefit of the doubt when they say "bitches" but why would there be so many female dogs in bikinis at their house? 8:17 AM May 18th via Twitter for iPhone
  9. @danozzi ur vry hansum :) 2:10 PM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone
  10. There's a guy playing a ukele outside my window & it's actually kinda wonderful to fall asleep to it lol jk jk I wanna smash it on his head. 8:11 PM May 14th via Twitter for iPhone
  11. I get so frustrated when I feel an emotion that can't be expressed through the magic of dance. Good thing that happens ALMOST NEVER. 6:28 PM May 14th via Twitter for iPhone
  12. I love you guys and all but I want to make clear that you are all COMPLETE SHIT compared to Patrick Swayze. 12:46 PM May 14th via Twitter for iPhone
  13. "plantcatinfantcatcatfingernailsplantfoodcat" - instagram 10:45 AM May 14th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. Just saw a street performer playing a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. Am I allowed to take a dollar from him? 9:29 PM May 12th via Twitter for iPhone
  15. This weekend I'm gonna write a book about haikus...or a haiku about books...or fall asleep on the couch eating bagel bites. 3:01 PM May 12th via Twitter for iPhone
  16. I get a little concerned when my Polish barber doesn't seem to know common haircutting phrases like "sideburns" or "my ear is bleeding". 11:12 AM May 12th via Twitter for iPhone
  17. @omgitzjojo SIS! You're proud of me, SIS! 10:33 AM May 12th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to omgitzjojo
  18. @LLCoolMegs I'm a wonderful man. 5:51 PM May 10th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to LLCoolMegs
  • Name Dan Ozzi
  • Location Brooklyn, NY
  • Web http://favstar.fm...
  • Bio Some people see the glass as half empty. Some see it as half full. I have to go to the bathroom.
464 Following 553 Followers 31 Listed
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