danjlc
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"Did you ever find the mouse in your bag?" Dan asked his BFF Ben. (In my household, mouse is not a computer accessory).
5:15 PM Nov 23rd
from web
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Shoot. Forgot about the balloons in the trunk. Sorry about that environment.
9:00 PM Oct 18th
from web
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"Mommy, spell Dagobah," my 7 year old asked me when he got home from school. I replied with the spelling. "Correct!" he said.
1:53 PM Oct 8th
from web
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If I had man balls, they would be freezing right now, thanks to the cultural ritual of child soccer in American suburbia.
3:59 PM Oct 6th
from web
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This toothpick I got from that restaurant is functioning a lot less as a picker of tooth and a lot more as a reigning mass of splinters.
11:16 AM Oct 6th
from web
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Chased a neighborhood dog in the rain. Caught it. It got away. Caught it again. Dried it with towel. It got away. My 90's love life Déjà vu.
5:23 PM Oct 5th
from web
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Immersing self with daemons, parent and child processes, spawning, forking, and killing. Technology is so very naughty.
9:46 AM Sep 30th
from web
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For those unfamiliar with Filipino cuisine, there's this horrible rumor that my favorite Filipino dumpling "siopao" contains cats.
8:54 AM Sep 30th
from web
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And the dumb cat has learned to shred a perfectly good roll of toilet paper. I must kill it now.
7:27 PM Sep 29th
from web
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Midtown Omaha. I almost made my 7 year old pee in a bush. Almost.
Don't ask.
6:48 PM Sep 29th
from web
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Got yelled at by monster-aka-haunted-house-dude for having my cell phone on. I guess I can't live tweet my sweet experience.
8:38 PM Sep 26th
from txt
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Spent the last 45 minutes groping, crouching, sliding, body slamming, and screaming until I'm hoarse.
7:19 PM Sep 26th
from txt
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I still feel the ball of Extra Island Cooler gum I swallowed from when I was flung into the air earlier today.
1:51 PM Sep 26th
from txt
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After the joust, I have a hankering for a turkey leg and a tankard of beer. Now where's my wench? Traci???!!!
1:29 PM Sep 26th
from txt
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The bachelorette party girls and I are on a lookout for that hot guy wearing a fur loin cloth. And you say Renaissance Fairs are for nerds.
11:00 AM Sep 26th
from txt
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Probably wasn't a good idea for me to wear heels at this Renaissance Fair since it rained last night.
10:56 AM Sep 26th
from txt
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At the very breakable ceramic section in World Market downtown Kansas City. Naughty thoughts abound.
8:33 AM Sep 26th
from txt
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Newton's Law of Motion: A diet Pepsi sitting on top of the speakers of my electric piano will spill.
12:00 PM Sep 25th
from web
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Kids are playing the song "I'm a gummy bear" on YouTube over and over again to learn the lyrics by heart. Say, how much is a lobotomy?
6:28 PM Sep 23rd
from web
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Too lazy to cook lunch for the children. I'd heat up leftovers but I have a feeling they won't like spaghetti with green hair growing on it.
10:44 AM Sep 20th
from web
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- Name Jessi H
- Location Omaha, NE
- Bio Philippines/Bahrain/Iowa/Nebraska. A little bit of jaded cynicism and a dash of awesome.
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