danbialek
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It'd save us all a lot of time & energy if every girl on Facebook would just make a photo album labeled "Pictures Where My Tits Look Good."
about 15 hours ago
via HootSuite
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At @ (Lab) 830p for @ w/ @ @ @ @ @ @ et al. COME.
about 18 hours ago
via web
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Yes, all 19 year-old girls, just keep getting tattoos EVERYWHERE (hands, neck, tits, etc.). There's no way you'll ever regret any of them.
about 19 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
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Summer 2012: The year all summer movie trailers were cut to dubstep.
6:49 PM May 31st
via Twitter for Android
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Most people are only 3 to 4 cocktails away from being total human garbage at any given time. True fact.
8:29 PM May 26th
via Twitter for Android
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Great job. You human fucking 9/11.
8:27 PM May 26th
via Twitter for Android
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Hey, 50-yr-old dude in the Hawaiian shirt buttfucking your date on the dancefloor at this wedding my wife dragged me to...
8:26 PM May 26th
via Twitter for Android
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The dude from Sublime has been dead for over a decade, but all of the members of 311 are still alive. How in the fuck is that possible/fair?
10:49 AM May 24th
via Twitter for Android
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I'm at the @ @ show tonight at 9pm. Here are the details: Fuck yeah!
3:33 PM May 23rd
via web
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Tonight 9pm @ @ w/ @ @ @ @ @ @ @
6:36 AM May 23rd
via web
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5/23 Trailer W/ @ @ @
@ @ @ @ @
5:56 PM May 17th
via web
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New AFT Jungle Video – Spring Break Forever!
8:30 AM May 14th
via HootSuite
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New AFT XBox Chavez Comm Tech Video – Skyrim Brutal Giant Beatdown
1:37 PM May 11th
via HootSuite
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If you're over 30 and currently wearing skinny jeans I hope you lose both of your legs in an escalator accident involving hammerhead sharks.
2:04 PM Apr 10th
via Twitter for Android
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@ You are the kindest person alive. Thank you very much. I appreciate it.
9:46 PM Apr 7th
via Twitter for Android
in reply to kn21043
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my top 5 fav comedians woud b Michael Cera,Aziz Ansari,@ @ and Andy Samberg
8:59 PM Apr 7th
via tGadget
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I would not have worn this "Powered By Blowjobs" t-shirt if I'd remembered today was parent-teacher conference day. It's not even ironed.
3:08 PM Apr 6th
via Twitter for Android
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Just heard a waitress tell the table next to me that she screwed up their order because she "had a rough trapeze class yesterday."
12:31 PM Apr 3rd
via Twitter for Android
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Holy crap, Orange County, California does not want to let the 90's go. Fred Durst should move here. He'd be nominated king for sure.
2:11 PM Mar 30th
via Twitter for Android
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- Name Dan Bialek
- Location Los Angeles, CA
- Web http://thatjerkda...
- Bio I'm a comedian and a writer and a cat owner and also kind of retarded.
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