daisythepug
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Daisy passed on today, proving that all dog farts go to heaven. The bitch & her tweets will be surely be missed. RIP sweet girl - 1997-2011.
6:13 PM Apr 15th, 2011
via web
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My human is worried because I won't eat. If I spoke people I'd tell her I'm on a hunger strike until she gives Asshole Puppy away.
7:48 PM Apr 14th, 2011
via web
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Asshole Puppy ate my puke. I'd be grossed out, but I'm very busy feeling superior.
10:01 PM Apr 12th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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Asshole Puppy swiped my food bowl and is playing with it in the yard. I'd kick her bitch ass, but I'm going to take a nap instead.
2:20 PM Apr 2nd, 2011
via web
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@ my human squealed when she opened that link. Soooooo cute!
4:54 PM Mar 25th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to eocnnor
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Smoking a fatty in bed. What? Isn't that what all aging lesbian pugs do?
8:23 PM Mar 24th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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I've lived with Asshole Puppy for 223.5 days. Not that I'm counting or anything.
8:26 PM Mar 17th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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Today I ate an empty box of granola bars. Not because I wanted to, but so Asshole Puppy couldn't.
8:06 PM Mar 14th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ My human said Asshole Puppy can play this weekend though I may kill her before then. That whore stole my treats.
4:43 PM Mar 10th, 2011
via web
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Today has been incredibly busy. I napped and then peed on Asshole Puppy's blanket, bed and toys. Fake incontinence for the win!
4:42 PM Mar 10th, 2011
via web
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My human, the vegetarian, bought and fed me meat. She obviously loves me way more than that stupid puppy. !!
9:33 PM Mar 8th, 2011
via web
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@ OMG I neeeeeeeed those slippers! Guess we know what my human will be doing today.
6:54 AM Mar 8th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to eocnnor
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@ my human said she fucking hearts you. And I'm just happy I'll finally meet your fur babies.
8:51 PM Mar 7th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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I want alone time to snuggle my human but asshole puppy won't stay away. Hate her like I hate cats.
8:25 PM Mar 7th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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I lost three pounds last week. My human said this is a bad thing, but I think she's just jealous.
7:58 AM Mar 6th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ not good, but my human isn't ready to say goodbye yet. She's trying to spend all her free time snuggling me but her tears annoy me.
6:47 PM Mar 2nd, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to flahute
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Goddamn puppy managed to steal my bed and drag it outside. I hate her so much right now!
6:01 PM Mar 2nd, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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My brilliant auntie @ did a photo shoot with me. I love her and love that asshole puppy didn't get diva treatment. Just me!
12:30 PM Feb 21st, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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I bit asshole puppy's ear and made her bleed. That is my happy place.
7:05 PM Feb 15th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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Trying to sleep & asshole puppy is chewing apart my bed. That's it, she's going to get it.. when I'm done napping.
8:55 PM Feb 12th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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