crupicrupicrupi
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Don and Megan's apartment is almost directly across the Park from the Dakota, where Lennon would come to live (and die).
about 7 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ Thought that was more a meta commentary on how Jags never start in the cold. (Chassis is low, too—they always bottom out.)
about 7 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to rachsyme
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Don Draper should go work for Noose Corp.
about 8 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ @ Do socks NEED to be designed? They're tiny pillowcases for your feet. As long as one end is closed, you're good.
about 9 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to JessLPerez
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If you have an identical twin who dies first, make sure you get the eulogy rolling by crowing, "*Now* I bet you can tell us apart!"
about 10 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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When Ice Cube wrote songs about shooting dudes in the face, his biggest nemesis was the FBI. Now it's a mischievous can of shitty beer.
about 11 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ This isn't a wedding announcement, it's a montage in a fucking Wes Anderson movie.
9:26 PM Jun 2nd
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to Mobute
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The four most depressing words in the English language are "cane shopping at Walgreens."
9:19 PM Jun 2nd
via Twitter for iPhone
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Now that a bakery has opened across from Green-Wood Cemetery, I've developed a Pavlovian association between bread & death. Hurray.
1:50 PM Jun 2nd
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ I wish ghosts would materialize in corporeal form & kick the snot out of him. Dude is like a dead guy-taunting Ed Hardy shirt.
8:27 PM Jun 1st
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to david_j_roth
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.@ Weird how there were three fat guys who were named after sweets: James Coco, John Candy & Ed Fudge (Chris Farley's stage name).
5:59 PM Jun 1st
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to karentozzi
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You say this movie is a non-stop cacophony of shitty 80s cock rock performed by Tom Crüise AND it's in IMAX? Will it also give me cancer?
5:55 PM Jun 1st
via Twitter for iPhone
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These spelling-bee kids are going to be so awesome at spelling C-E-L-I-B-A-C-Y when they grow up.
6:07 PM May 31st
via Twitter for iPhone
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Just got my customized Medical ID bracelet that reads, "I am allergic to horror. Should a crazy drug monster eat my goddamn face, KILL ME."
6:05 PM May 31st
via Twitter for iPhone
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There's a lady in the office who has a voice like a flustered duck. The only way to quiet her down is with a bag of wet bread.
12:37 PM May 31st
via web
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Hey phone: I'd rather get in a hot tub w/ a priapic Wilford Brimley & 70,000 Africanized Honey Bees than answer a call from a blocked number
12:00 PM May 31st
via web
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@ He's grasping at straws. In May 2008, cable news ratings were UP 43%. CNN alone was up 59%. (And ranked 19th vs. 37th now.)
11:51 AM May 31st
via web
in reply to lgranatstein
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@ And yet they refuse to carry NFL Network for 80 cents per sub per month. That's some happy horseshit right there.
11:29 AM May 31st
via web
in reply to Ourand_SBJ
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Kent says CNN is not getting the expected lift from the election, which has been “boring to people.” And animals. And rock formations.
11:27 AM May 31st
via web
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When he's not losing the ratings war to Dr. Drew, Morgan gets his clock cleaned by Maddow and Hannity, by a 3:1 and 4:1 ratio.
11:25 AM May 31st
via web
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