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crackbarbie

  1. And out of nowhere, I am now an 80 year old woman who calls them "cotton swabs." 7:25 AM Nov 13th from UberTwitter
  2. Hahahaha "Hand Wash" Hahaha "Dry Clean Only" Hahahaha Clothing companies are HILARIOUS! 7:17 PM Nov 12th from UberTwitter
  3. @mexyco With the infection in my microdermal, if you rub your pus on my pus we could be pussy sisters. 7:03 PM Nov 12th from UberTwitter in reply to mexyco
  4. The closest to fit I've been in years is having this sports bra on for the past 72 hours. 6:11 PM Nov 12th from UberTwitter
  5. Oh, not much. Laying in bed eating shrimp cocktail and watching Mtv. You? 5:08 PM Nov 12th from UberTwitter
  6. I wish there was a superhero that drove a Toyota Corolla. Then my son would think I was badass. 1:55 PM Nov 12th from UberTwitter
  7. What doesn't have two thumbs but its pitbull is now wearing a sweater? 10:43 AM Nov 12th from UberTwitter
  8. Oh my god you guys. My hand won't stop putting cookie dough in my mouth! What do I do! 9:43 AM Nov 12th from UberTwitter
  9. If I listened to everything my mouth told me, I'd be convinced of eating shit infused cashew chicken in my sleep. 7:31 AM Nov 12th from UberTwitter
  10. I fucking feced up in this joint. 7:55 PM Nov 11th from UberTwitter
  11. The truth comes out at the bar. I'm not the only one to cry during Walmart commercials. 7:46 PM Nov 11th from UberTwitter
  12. Anymore 50 cent, I'm gonna be at 2.75 7:42 PM Nov 11th from UberTwitter
  13. This is a special edition for Veterans day. Enjoy #uglyfacewednesday PART DEUCE. http://pic.gd/7ae752 7:05 PM Nov 11th from UberTwitter
  14. #uglyfacewednesday http://pic.gd/193848 6:54 PM Nov 11th from UberTwitter
  15. I've never seen so many ponytails on grown men in my LIFE. 6:33 PM Nov 11th from UberTwitter
  16. Bar rule number 42: DO NOT play Thunderstruck. 6:28 PM Nov 11th from UberTwitter
  17. Bend over to the front, touch your toes. I wish I knew the words to this song. Loljk I do. Get low. Get low get low get low get low get low. 3:47 PM Nov 11th from UberTwitter
  18. I don't know if I should discipline or praise my dog for peeing in the shower. 8:17 AM Nov 11th from UberTwitter
  19. There is a bag of poop on my station at work. Asked my coworkers who put it there. They didn't know. They told me nobody gives a shit. 5:59 AM Nov 11th from UberTwitter
  20. I'm definitely going home with the Mom of the Year award. I took the double A's out of my vibrator so my son can play SpongeBob Operation. 1:44 PM Nov 10th from UberTwitter
  • Name your real name
  • Location The wrong state of mind.
  • Web http://favstar.fm...
  • Bio Middle name's my creepy. It's not racist if it's true. I'm @theduty's lady. Deal.
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