cottonandsand
- Myy son's pinewood derby car was literally the slowest in the pack, but won most original. It was slow but it was cool. Like an el camino.5:01 PM Mar 1st from web
- Just saw Coraline with the kids, and need to go watch it again with Mary Jane next week.2:06 PM Feb 8th from Twitterrific
- If the loudmouth guy at the bar uses the term "menage a tois" in his story instead of "threesome" he's lying. And a fucking douche.5:01 PM Feb 4th from Twitterrific
- Oh wait, there's a seat next to the fattest chick in the bar, too. Now I feel better.4:48 PM Feb 4th from Twitterrific
- The only two open seats at the bar I happen to be sitting at are both next to me. Perhaps I should have showered today?4:26 PM Feb 4th from Twitterrific
- There is one thing my wife and I have in common...a penis. Just kidding. We both have boobs. And hate everything the other likes.3:48 PM Feb 2nd from Twitterrific
- Whew, avoided that movie all weekend, but she wouldn't watch "Choke" with me that makes even, right?3:45 PM Feb 2nd from Twitterrific
- I think my wife is going to make me watch that Fireproof movie tonight. I don't think two people can be any more different.2:37 PM Jan 27th from Twitterrific
- Benched 290 today...fuck, yeah!3:04 PM Jan 26th from Twitterrific
- The bacon cheddar gordita crunch is heaven in a taco shell.8:07 AM Jan 24th from Twitterrific
- That's just a joke. I didn't wipe it under the bench. I rolled it into a little ball and flicked it across the room.10:18 AM Jan 22nd from web
- I had a booger at the gym. I discreetly picked it and wiped it under the bench. I felt bad until I saw a guy using the mirrors to pop a zit.10:13 AM Jan 22nd from web
- Whenever I see someone smoking Marlboro Reds I think "wow, she sure is manly!"3:47 PM Jan 14th from Twitterrific
- Oh man, I am being subjected to the biggest hippie bullshit I have ever heard in my life.5:13 PM Jan 9th from Twitterrific
- I gotta say...today was a good day1:36 PM Jan 9th from Twitterrific
- My bartender has no fucking idea how to pour a Guinness.4:18 PM Jan 7th from Twitterrific
- Yes, I bought the iFart application for the my phone and it was the best 99 cents i've ever spent.12:42 PM Dec 31st, 2008 from Twitterrific
- Nothing like two grown men beating the shit out of each other with foam Hulk hands in the front yard at midnight. My neighbors love me.12:17 PM Dec 28th, 2008 from Twitterrific
- Getting sandandcotton.com back on track starting today9:23 AM Dec 15th, 2008 from Twitterrific
- Judging by the amount of ads I see online, I must be the only person in the world who does not want to see Brian Griffin fuck Lois Griffin.5:38 PM Dec 2nd, 2008 from Twitterrific
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