Corman
- Saw a guy in a wheel chair roll over and punch a guy in the head for saying "yeah, well if you're so great, stand up."7:27 PM Jul 18th from web
- @TheMatirns I hope you're right. And I'm assume that "Animal Collective" is a band and not some new zoological thing that they're into now.12:50 PM Jul 16th from web in reply to TheMatirns
- Tight aqua blue jeans, red and white plaid shirt, backpack covered in glitter, feathered mullet. Don't panic but we've got a hipster here.11:18 AM Jul 16th from web
- @frekur I answer the door in my boxers, look around with bloodshot eyes, then say "well, this dick ain't going to suck itself."10:32 AM Jul 16th from web in reply to frekur
- Fear my uptime. Never reboot, never surrender. [root@web02 ~]# uptime 03:26:42 up 500 days, 10:08, 1 user, load average: 1.20, 1.34, 1.258:34 PM Jul 14th from web
- Sir, we're still not going to accept your match.com profile in lieu of an actual resume. I don't care what color paper you've printed it on.12:18 PM Jul 14th from web
- @NiteShok thanks man, I've got a few fiction pieces I'm working on but I've been lazy when it comes to the blog. Look for something soon.11:23 AM Jul 13th from web in reply to NiteShok
- @thetalldave hanging out at walmart is going to give you a really self selected pool of applicants for that little social experiment there.7:52 PM Jul 12th from web in reply to thetalldave
- @zefrank too tame. the videos feel like your afraid to say something that might anger the time inc. overlords. take a stand. be bold.12:40 PM Jul 12th from web in reply to zefrank
- Ian: charmaine star is at the bar. Me: who? Ian: she's a porn star. Me: does she have her clothes on? Ian: yes. Me: oh, then nevermind.9:07 PM Jul 11th from TwitterBerry
- I don't think of it as blacking out, I think of it as teleporting to a new bar. It's not a problem, it's magic.6:16 PM Jul 5th from TwitterBerry
- Sausage in the purse is more fun than a bun in the oven and less commitment. @tiahopkins7:47 PM Jul 3rd from TwitterBerry
- Dr. Pepper has an actual medical degree. Diet Dr. Pepper has a Ph.D from a questionable state school's night program. #WhatsTheDifference10:21 PM Jul 2nd from web
- Cheap Beer and Caffeine Pills: My new diet plan. On shelves Sept '09. Just in time for that all important Southern Hemisphere Summer Season12:13 AM Jul 2nd from web
- I remember a time when I had motivation and goals. Now it's mostly cheap beer and caffeine pills.9:13 PM Jul 1st from web
- @LATimescitydesk That article about the schizophrenic child was really, really interesting. And you're doing a great job with the twitter.5:41 PM Jun 29th from web in reply to LATimescitydesk
- Me: Iced Tea? Her: Nope, but I can make you hot tea and give you a glass of ice Me: Alright Her: But I have to charge you for cup of coffee1:33 PM Jun 28th from web
- If you're a illegal immigrant with a steady job and no criminal record, You should automatically get the citizenship of a homeless person7:41 PM Jun 27th from web
- Pretty much the only reason I look forward to payday anymore is so I can buy a case of beer and not worry how long it's going to last.4:52 PM Jun 26th from web
- 1. Pour Redbull onto glass coffee table 2. Use hair dryer to evaporate Redbull into crystalline form 3. Cut with razor 4. Snort 5. Wings!6:58 PM Jun 24th from web
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