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  1. I just took the "Who would be your ideal boyfriend from Harry Potter?" quiz and got: Draco Malfoy! Try it ➜ http://bit.ly/thzcx 1:13 PM Jul 17th from LOL quiz
  2. I scoot and I scoot and I scoot, why will NO ONE put on a rubber glove and help me out here? 10:47 AM Jan 16th from web
  3. Bummed that the carpet no longer smells like my butt. 9:39 AM Nov 3rd, 2007 from web
  4. Snoring, dreaming of killing the lady with the short hair who keeps putting the BURNING EYE DROPS IN MY EYE. 6:16 PM Jun 18th, 2007 from web
  5. First my eye swells shut, then they put this satellite dish around my head? 6:23 PM Jun 11th, 2007 from web
  6. Bleeding again. WTF? Will somebody please pay attention and SPAY ME? 9:47 PM May 24th, 2007 from web
  7. I don't care where they go, as long as they take me with them. 8:41 PM May 21st, 2007 from web
  8. Fuckin' macaroni and cheese sticks to the roof of my mouth. 10:14 AM May 11th, 2007 from web
  9. Dishwasher soap in mouth! Get it out! Get it out! Get it out! 9:46 AM May 10th, 2007 from web
  10. Wondering if Chuck is fixed. 12:06 PM May 9th, 2007 from web
  11. Just sideswiped a six-year-old and made him fall flat on his face. 8:00 AM May 9th, 2007 from web