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condensedmovies

  1. New posts at http://www.ultracondensedmo... including Serenity and a couple Gerard Butler joints.
  2. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Tim from The Office is charming/ befuddled while alien Mos Def clowns. Probability drive. IN SPACE.
  3. @kimthedork: Thanks for the shoutout (and for leading me to @raychraych)!
  4. New over-140 condensed versions at http://www.ultracondensedmo...
  5. A Prairie Home Companion: Streep & Tomlin harmonize with MN accents, Guy Noir investigates, Keillor orates in a smooth radio voice.
  6. Robin Hood: Men in Tights: Farm Boy Westley and Dave Chappelle steal from the Rich(ard Lewis) and give to the poor...hilariously. & in song.
  7. Blazing Saddles: A black sheriff?!?! You got it. Plus, Madeline Kahn has a speech impediment. Also, a lot of comic racism. The best kind.
  8. Drive Thru: Goth Blair Waldorf and Stoner Dan Humphrey fight evil fast food mascot named Horny the clown; Blair's mom, Jan Levinson, assists
  9. Die Hard: Bruce Willis fights German terrorists in LA even though he's from NYC...which makes him WAY AWESOME. Then, stuff explodes.
  10. Hamlet 2: Steve Coogan mugs-in a good way-his way through high school theater, with racial understanding, dancing and Sexy Jesus at the end.
  11. Who Framed Roger Rabbit: Toons and Bob Hoskins collide; Kathleen Turner voices a scary-sexy "just drawn that way" redhead with a killer rack
  12. New post on the real blog: http://www.ultracondensedmo...
  13. Old School: Vince Vaughn and ragtag team of old guys start frat. Ferrell streaks. Fuckin every now and then I fall apart. YOU'RE MY BOY BLUE
  14. Dodgeball: Vince Vaughn and a ragtag team of misfits challenge scary-fit Ben Stiller in Dodgeball tourney. Shenanigans ensue, underdog wins.
  15. Clueless: Cher and Dionne are like "OMG that new girl is seriously tragic" and give her a makeover, and then Paul Rudd is very attractive.
  16. Mean Girls: LiLo is all "I'm from Africa, I don't get cliques," and Rachel McAdams is all nice/mean/nice. Tina Fey wrote it, so it's good.
  17. He's Just Not That Into You: an old-school, >140 character post now on the blog: http://twurl.nl/8qn4ni
  18. Steel Magnolias: Parton, MacLaine and Dukakis provide hilarious old-lady bon mots. Then Julia Roberts dies. Blush & bashful. Armadillo cake.
  19. Pootie Tang: I'm gonna sine yo pitty on the runny kine. Wa-da-tah. Sa-da-tay, sepatown. And then Wanda Sykes wears a bunch of great wigs.
  20. Back to the Future 3: Doc is like "I'm in the old west" and Marty is like "damn I'ma save you" and there are hilarious parallels to 1 and 2.