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ConanOBrien

  1. A 6-year-old was in the National Spelling Bee Finals. She must be quite prekoshus. about 10 hours ago via web
  2. If you’re a fan of old guys and envelopes, Wednesday’s NBA Draft Lottery was the most exciting night in sports. 1:58 PM Jun 1st via web
  3. Apple says they’re coming out with a big announcement. Hope it’s not about the internet history on my Macbook Pro. #EroticWeatherChannel 8:20 AM May 31st via web
  4. Taking a DNA test just to make sure I’m not a Kardashian. 7:04 AM May 30th via web
  5. Just stopped at this diner in Upstate New York. I had the Special: Soup, Sandwich, and A Curse on the White Devil: bit.ly/KpA9Lc 7:28 AM May 29th via web
  6. There was a tropical storm named “Bud?” I assume it’s the first one to threaten the coast wearing a wife beater. 6:39 AM May 28th via web
  7. I might be watching too much “Game of Thrones” because I won’t eat shrimp without first subjecting them to a loud, public beheading. 12:02 PM May 27th via web
  8. A new study claims Christopher Columbus may have been Jewish. They point to his recently unearthed comedy album “Take My Spice - Please!” 11:43 AM May 26th via web
  9. @LAKings, don’t doubt that I’m up to date on your team. In fact, I know Marcel Dionne and Rogie Vachon will take you all the way this year. 3:33 PM May 25th via web in reply to LAKings
  10. PS - I'm watching this @LAKings game on my DVR. No spoilers, please. 10:34 AM May 25th via web
  11. The @LAKings are playing the @PhoenixCoyotes? I wonder which city that shouldn't have a hockey team will win. 10:17 AM May 25th via web
  12. This morning I thought I heard a neighbor blasting that new @Skrillex song I like, but then I realized it was just the garbage truck. 9:21 AM May 24th via web
  13. I’m sure the guys Mitt Romney bullied in high school take comfort in knowing he’s now a famous billionaire. 9:44 AM May 23rd via web
  14. Backstage at #Conan, Tracy Morgan & I fight about if Greece's debt-to-GDP ratio is causing the Euro-Zone Recession: bit.ly/JP6UD7 3:50 PM May 22nd via web
  15. A sad moment for civilization: I just bought Greece with an old can of olives. 9:16 AM May 21st via web
  16. CBS greenlit a sitcom based on Groupon. Why is TBS stalling on my idea “Val-Pak Buddies?” 12:14 PM May 20th via web
  17. They say “opposites attract” and yet I don’t have the hots for the Tanning Mom. 10:03 AM May 19th via web
  18. Today, Facebook went public, just as MySpace’s last user went private. 10:24 AM May 18th via web
  19. Going on Letterman tonight for the first time in 13 years. Dave wanted to wait until I hit puberty. 6:10 AM May 17th via Twitter for iPhone
  20. .@Snooki is considering filming her childbirth, on the off chance there’s someone out there who hasn’t seen her vagina yet. 11:18 AM May 16th via web