colleenosaurus
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Fact: you are considerably more awake after a pigeon flys at you from inside the train car you are trying to board.
8:08 AM Dec 5th
from Echofon
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I am that asshole who chooses products based on which is named better. Someone has to represent the namers of the names - dreams of dreams.
10:55 AM Oct 5th
from web
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Things that aren't right: the amount of self-restraint it took to not bring the dead bird home to dissect it. I'm not proud, people.
12:23 PM Sep 29th
from Echofon
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I'll have you know, it takes a special degree of class to drink quality Zinfandel out of a Vitamin Water bottle on the CTA.
8:56 PM Sep 14th
from Echofon
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I have way to many conversations with myself, aloud, to ever be on any sort of reality television...thing.
11:11 PM Sep 10th
from web
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The tone of my week gas been established now that my toes have been painted "hooker red".
11:44 AM Sep 9th
from Echofon
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I'm quite positive I'm the only jackass here, getting a mani-pedi, who is reading Animal Farm. Maybe I should hide it behind a Cosmo...?
12:51 PM Aug 5th
from Echofon
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A WAY higher percentage of people I encounter in my daily life talk to themselves, quite loudly, than I would have guessed...
8:51 PM Jul 2nd
from Echofon
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j'mon
5:28 PM Jun 25th
from web
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It doesn't help morale when old ladies see you and move so your gimpy ass can sit at the front of the bus.
12:32 PM Jun 17th
from Echofon
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eating PB&J in bed makes it more delicious. Even more so when a frosty beer is added. It's science.
1:25 PM Jun 13th
from web
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Today is embarrassing underwear day. Laundry day, to those hip and attractive people who know no such misfortune.
11:47 AM Jun 12th
from web
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Today I was caught singing...nay...ROCKING to "Don't Lose My Number" by Phil Collins. I'm okay with this.
6:29 PM Jun 11th
from web
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I was relieved to discover that contrary to my initial, hasty observation, the bus driver is indeed wearing pants.
1:15 PM May 9th
from Echofon
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note to self on wearing headphones: just because they can't hear your music doesn't mean they can't see your extensive lip syncing. Ass.
10:48 PM May 6th
from web
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is it me, or does EVERYONE you walk past while trying to hide your drunkeness KNOW your dirty little secret?
8:43 PM May 3rd
from Echofon
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If I sit near the flower sale long enough, looking an intricate combo of lonely and awesome, maybe someone will give me one.
12:19 PM May 2nd
from Echofon
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I am quite positive beer tastes better when consumed while wearing nothing but a smile. Go ahead. Do the research.
11:12 PM Apr 23rd
from web
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'Stalk and Ambush Predator' is definitely in my top 5 favorite versions of me.
10:19 AM Apr 16th
from web
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Easter: Aunt Betty requests guests to sing a song so she can hear how it will sound at her funeral. Can't make this stuff up, y'all.
11:32 AM Apr 12th
from TwitterForiPhone
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