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What's that circle with numbers thing on your wrist that's being held on a by a miniature little belt?5:53 AM May 31stvia Twitter for iPhone
Can we all just agree that once you hit 30 you don't "feel 30" or whatever age you actually are? EDITORS: this is not an interesting story.4:27 AM May 31stvia Twitter for iPhone
It's a really good idea for bars to serve alcohol because when you sit at one and overhear "conversation," it makes you hella murder-y.2:47 PM May 30thvia Twitter for iPhone
Getting pretty tired of "new twists" on "old favorites" like mac and cheese. Stop calling this an original idea please.3:27 PM May 29thvia Twitter for iPhone
Visiting time at hosp on TV is always interrupted by a doc who kicks u out, wants patient to "get some rest." It's not really like that, fyi4:57 PM May 25thvia Twitter for iPhone
Reality show "On the Fly," goes "behind the scenes" at Southwest Air. Pissy passengers! Embattled employees! Weather delays! RIVETING SHIT.4:40 AM May 24thvia Twitter for iPhone
The problem with raising your kids to be independent thinkers is that they FUCKING become independent thinkers and it's REALLY maddening.8:57 AM May 20thvia Twitter for iPhone