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CobraCommander

  1. Decorating the Arena of Sport for the holidays. Tinsel, lights, wreaths, anti-personnel landmines, rusty tridents, etc. 7:15 AM Dec 3rd from Tweetie
  2. Now I understand why I never got a Family Ties merit badge during my string of 80's TV Mom sexual conquests. Shanananaa! 11:09 AM Dec 2nd from web
  3. I got ta get my props. Cops come and try to steal my crops. 10:48 AM Dec 2nd from web
  4. My body stay vicious. I be up in the gym just working on my fitness. 7:19 AM Nov 30th from Tweetie
  5. Being the S&M afficianado that I am, I strive to make every Friday a Black Friday. 8:44 AM Nov 27th from Tweetie
  6. I am thankful for things that go boom. 11:11 AM Nov 26th from Tweetie
  7. I am thankful for weapons and the fingers to use them. 10:24 AM Nov 26th from web
  8. 86ed the merlot, subbed a whiskey/tryptophan/valium combo. I am thankful I can no longer feel my legs. 9:15 AM Nov 26th from Tweetie
  9. There is not enough merlot in the world to get me through today. 7:34 AM Nov 26th from Tweetie
  10. What is this crap? I swear B. said she was going to a midnight showing of NUDE Moon. I am in tween hell. 11:16 PM Nov 19th from Tweetie
  11. With Oprah calling it quits, it's a shame I have no use for millions of compliant brainwashed soccer moms. Waaaaait... 6:53 PM Nov 19th from Tweetie
  12. That whole "rubbing salt in the wound" thing? Next. Level. Shiz. 7:37 AM Nov 16th from Tweetie
  13. I'm a veteran...of foreign whores. 11:24 PM Nov 11th from Tweetie
  14. Another day, another dollar. Attacking Monday with the fury of 1000 shemale wolverines. 4:44 AM Nov 9th from Tweetie
  15. Hiding IEDs in the park. Every day's the Fourth of July. 9:14 AM Nov 7th from Tweetie
  16. Some days you just have to put your foot down. On Thursdays I like to aim for the adam's apple. 6:03 AM Nov 5th from web
  17. Twittering while a saucy blonde bobs for my apple. Multi-tasking! 8:39 PM Oct 31st from web
  18. Cobra office party. Someone's dressed as a slutty Zarana. Oh, wait, that's actually Zarana. My bad. 7:37 PM Oct 31st from Tweetie
  19. Ladies, ladies, ladies...you've cranked the "Daddy Didn't Love Me" dial to 11 this year. Bravo! 3:03 PM Oct 31st from Tweetie
  20. Totes excited to see what all the ladies in the neighborhood undress as for Halloween this year. 12:22 PM Oct 31st from Tweetie