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ckwinny

  1. Can someone please make a version of the nodding, rotating Yahoo! Music Flash ad girl that I can skull smoosh?
  2. Y'know who else fluffs with fork?
  3. Okay, motherfucking TURKEYS can get a presidential pardon, but gays can't marry? BOOOS!
  4. A whopping 100% of people who like taking surveys like taking surveys.
  5. I forgot that one of the issues with high-waisted pants is the giant faux-rection when you sit down. I am SO happy to see you this morning.
  6. Whenever I pick up a soda on the way back from the bathroom, I think, "I'm just making more pee."
  7. George Dubya is totally a FPIHF.
  8. How come no one ever talks about MIHFs? Man, I would HATE to fuck that mom!
  9. Don't pretend you don't know how to capitalize Starbucks, iPhone.
  10. In my kitchen, if it can't be done with tongs or a cleaver, then I'm not interested.
  11. During NaNoWriMo, even intra-office email is composed with shaky pen.
  12. An Athiest American and a Christian Chinese walk into a Starbucks...and she teaches me some Mandarin because my Mandarin is terrible.
  13. How many Shanghai snowflakes constitute a poison risk? I ask because I ate 4 or 5 of the little bastards before I came to my senses.
  14. 24-hour construction site down the street sounds like Godzilla stomping around. Constant SNS readiness means crappy sleep & grumpy awake.
  15. I like my men like my wool coats: covered in cat hair.
  16. OMG the mixed nuts are WARM. And no peanuts AT ALL.
  17. Okay Americans, prepare yourself for a shock: no rickshaws in China. Also, no tickey, no washy.
  18. Is no one sitting next to me cuz I got lucky or because I stink of the working class?
  19. I wonder if rich folks Are allowed to Twitter in-flight.
  20. Everyone in Business Class knows I'm a fucking spy.