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ckcomedy

The blind chicks bought my CD & gave me a folded 20, & bc I saw #Daredevil, I folded their change differently so they knew I was honest. about 6 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
They won't physically read this, but the blind chicks up front at the show tonight were AWESOME. I want blind chicks at all my shows. about 7 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
@smilov03 Time to cash in that grandma insurance policy. about 9 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to smilov03
JesseIsTerrific Can't wait to see THE DARK SPIDEY. about 9 hours ago via twicca Retweeted by ckcomedy
flipcide07 After I watched #contagion I want to carry hand sanitizer and when I shake someone's hand, say @ckcomedy line "It's not me, its you." about 10 hours ago via Twitter for Android Retweeted by ckcomedy
@CynRing Grosssssss about 11 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to CynRing
@KVicini Well I haven't had anyone die in my arms, but educated ppl have informed me it's true. about 12 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to KVicini
Every death scene from every movie will forever be ruined since I realized that, as soon as we die, we poop our pants. about 12 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
@Uh_lain_Uh No, but I have his giant fucking bottle of Hyberquil that'll knock you out all summer about 12 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to Uh_lain_Uh
I'm glad the agent of the T-1000 landed him the coveted role of the magic mirror. Wondered where he'd been. #SnowWhite&TheHuntsman about 14 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
@Ludakrisi Next week. Thurs-Sun about 15 hours ago via web in reply to Ludakrisi
@Ludakrisi I remember what it was like to only have 1800 followers #thosewerethedays #memories about 16 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to Ludakrisi
Someone left a stack of #Playboys in the bathroom at this condo. And I carefully put them back in the order I found them. #childhoodhangup about 16 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
@Ludakrisi It took time but eventually they all catch on and become #Killianaires #BAM #Isaidit about 16 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to Ludakrisi
Ludakrisi I'm seeing @ckcomedy tweets in my timeline as RTs which means my followers have realized he's sort of hilarious about 16 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by ckcomedy
Twitter: I need your help. Go watch Snow White, or stay in and write? about 17 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
@Wayne_Begarly Um, I'm offended that you are on here and not following me. SO in retaliation... I got nothing about 17 hours ago via web
@_misselaine I would have been, but then I learned brown sugar is just white sugar with molasses added to it. So it's a no win for me too about 19 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to _misselaine
@kristengilma @cynring You and I might have differing opinions on "decently priced" about 19 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to kristengilma
@alarmingAMANDA And just not hot. That whole awkwardly shy thing doesn't do it for me about 19 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to alarmingAMANDA