Profile_bird

Hey there! churchofbill is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What's happening? Join today to start receiving churchofbill's tweets.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

churchofbill

  1. How much do you smoke, sir? Two packs a day, is that right? Pussy. I go through two lighters a day. You're a health nut compared to me. 3:00 AM Aug 21st from Twuffer
  2. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! "Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options. 3:00 AM Aug 20th from Twuffer
  3. There's a new party being born: The People Who Hate People Party. People who hate people, come together! "No!" 3:00 AM Aug 19th from Twuffer
  4. Why is pot against the law? It wouldn't be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can't make a profit off it, would it? 3:00 AM Aug 18th from Twuffer
  5. I'm glad mushrooms are against the law. I took them one time, and laid in a field of grass for 4 hours going, "My God! I love everything." 3:00 AM Aug 17th from Twuffer
  6. I saw an old man smoking, bent over a walker. I'm like, "Duude, you're my hero! Smoking at your age, it's great." He goes, "What? I'm 28." 3:00 AM Aug 16th from Twuffer
  7. People pay lip service to saving the planet. They fail to make the big leap that if you want to save the planet, kill your fucking self. 3:00 AM Aug 15th from Twuffer
  8. They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. 3:00 AM Aug 14th from Twuffer
  9. Then comes the kicker: Say the alphabet – backwards. "Well, shoot, you got me. I'm not drunk, but I'm obviously too stupid to be driving." 3:00 AM Aug 13th from Twuffer
  10. I've never laid eyes on a fucking Gideon! What are they, ninjas? 3:00 AM Aug 12th from Twuffer
  11. I'm gonna capture a Gideon. Yeah, I'm gonna make that my hobby. 3:00 AM Aug 12th from Twuffer
  12. You're not a human, till you're in my phone book. 3:00 AM Aug 11th from Twuffer
  13. It's time to evolve ideas. You know, evolution didn't end with us growing thumbs. 3:00 AM Aug 10th from Twuffer
  14. I can't watch TV longer than 5 minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust. 3:00 AM Aug 9th from Twuffer
  15. By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. 3:00 AM Aug 8th from Twuffer
  16. You ever notice how people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? 3:00 AM Aug 7th from Twuffer
  17. It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious. 3:00 AM Aug 6th from Twuffer
  18. I'm tired of this back-slapping "Isn't humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes. 2:37 AM Aug 5th from Twuffer
  19. Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves. 1:59 AM Aug 2nd from Tweetie
  20. It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice, right now, between fear and love. 5:19 AM Jul 31st from web
  • Name Bill Hicks
  • Bio The teachings of our lord and savior, Bill Hicks, in 140 characters or less,
4 Following 38 Followers 5 Listed
Media Guardian Not Charlie Brooker jarrodspry Matt Harlock