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chucknorris_

@chucknorris_ eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
If Chuck Norris is late, time should better slow down.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.
The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Retweeting @theuer: @chucknorris_ did you know that? type "find chuck norris" at google and do a "i'm feeling lucky" search ;).
Chuck Norris Invented the QWERTY. All the other letters got kicked.
When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris computer's actually runs Windows 2018.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits