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chrissymarie___

I love #sonic commercials. "its like have your cake," "and not being in jail" 6:22 PM May 28th via Twitter for Android
autocorrects Words don’t have power to hurt you, unless that person means a lot to you... 1:45 PM May 26th via Buffer Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 1859 others
autocorrects When you're truly in love, being faithful isn't a sacrifice, it's a joy. 3:45 PM May 26th via Buffer Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 1737 others
autocorrects That awkward moment when you check the price tag & sadly walk away. 4:55 PM May 26th via Buffer Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 3126 others
autocorrects Facebook and Twitter don't destroy relationships. If anything, they just bring to light what someone's been doing all along... 5:20 PM May 26th via Buffer Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 1974 others
autocorrects When guys lie, they say they love you. When girls lie, they say they don't. 5:30 PM May 26th via Buffer Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 1695 others
ComedyTruth Sex scene on TV + Parents in same room + No sign of remote = Awkward Atmosphere. 7:59 PM May 26th via Echofon Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 1181 others
Hate when good music goes #mainstream 9:30 PM May 26th via Twitter for Android
My brother wants to know if people have stoma sex... #funny #notfunny 7:29 PM May 26th via Twitter for Android
@RyannH8 "dun-dun" 7:44 AM May 26th via Twitter for Android
ComedyTruth Boy: "Why do you straighten your hair?" Girl: "Because it makes it longer" Doctor: "Okay tell me again why you burned your penis.." 5:30 AM May 26th via TweetDeck Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 1172 others
TheComedyJokes Laughing to yourself after you think of something funny because you're such a hilarious bastard. 2:01 AM May 26th via Twuffer Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 822 others
iSpeakComedy knock knock, Who's there?, Daisy, Daisy who?, Daisy me rollliiin, Dey hatiiin. 12:32 AM May 26th via web Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 476 others
@RyannH8 "you're just a curly headed fuck" #twatmovie ? 7:52 PM May 25th via Twitter for Android
WomensHumor The first person to ever yawn created a contagious problem that has plagued human kind since the beginning of time. 2:40 PM May 25th via HootSuite Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 797 others
ComedyTruth Selena: Who says you're not perfect. Hannah: Nobody's perfect. P!nk: You are perfect Hedley: I'm not perfect. Me: Am I perfect or not? 1:02 PM May 25th via TweetDeck Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 951 others
Why don't some girls wear a bra that fits them? The back of your bra is not supposed to be up by your neck... #youlookstupid 3:08 PM May 25th via Twitter for Android
dippn2love Relationships are harder now cuz conversations became texting, arguments became phone calls, and feelings became subliminal messages online 11:14 AM May 20th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 4 others
I wish I was outside, on the beach, getting a tan... but I am drugged up on meds. Thanks for removing my tonsils during the nicest weather. 11:19 AM May 20th via Twitter for Android
ShtBallPlayrsDo Hey what channel is Lax Network? Wait they don't have one??? 10:23 PM May 15th via web Retweeted by chrissymarie___ and 190 others