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chrisocallahan

  1. @bertkreischer @fitbit How do you like the scale? Do you use the fitbit as well? thinking about biting the bullet...
  2. The drunk girl getting a piggyback from that sailor seems to have forgotten she did not wear panties tonight...
  3. @AnthonyCumia I love being me, but you sir are one of few people I'd love to trade lives with for a day or forever
  4. ...And you have to ignore "I can't stand this guy" tweets all night.
  5. My boss who hates being called my boss just got Mr. Me Me Me all fired up. Fuck, now I have to listen to "I don't care" rants all night.
  6. Not doing no or low carb thing. Just skipping em when not essential to enjoyment of the meal. That said, Carbs are fucking delicious.
  7. Begged my friend not to talk out loud about planning a trip to Phoenix to see #Rangers in Finals. Looks like he jinxed both teams.
  8. Mom coming. Bought bagels. My God do they smell good.
  9. Summerland Tour July 18! Holy shit, that whole room will be filled with creepy old guys.
  10. Damn, I am loving the O & A 90s alt rock segment far too much.
  11. Cleaning house. Found my old big box of porn. Remember when naked ladies only came on glossy paper & crusty video tapes? #internetisforporn
  12. Ever see you have a new follower and wonder how pissed they'll be the next time you say "cunt?"
  13. @walkingmishap Maybe it was the lowered expectations, but it hit the spot. Just like sometimes a quick handy is simply awesome.
  14. Got Cookies & Cream protein shake to replace crap dinner because @walkingmishap put Oreo Shake in my head. That'll be just as good, right?
  15. I was looking forward to tonight's dinner all day. Even had a dream about it. It has failed to meet expectations. #Letdown
  16. Today has been a very good day for my wallet. That's on top of morning shift OT which may as well be a paid vacation...
  17. i said "vitamin water zero" three times. he repeated "vitamin water zero" three times. still, i knew he'd fuck up and he did.
  18. Love the guy that hits the Stop Please button as bus pulls into last stop. As if driver will turn around and go back with everyone on board.
  19. I think my cats missed me. To show it, they have jumped on my balls from all sorts of heights a few hundred times.
  20. A few of the 14 year old girls asked me to buy them beer, I'm a responsible adult and told them no because no one should drink Coor's Light.