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ChrisKattan

  1. "@PatriciaHeaton: @ChrisKattan sounds like you're on the @JimGaffigan meal plan." Aw shucks. You certainly do know how to flatter somebody
  2. For breakfast I microwaved a bowl of fresh picked #Spaghettios followed by a just unwrapped #HaagenDazs ice cream bar Now.. I feel like shit
  3. Happy Thursday night #everybody #everybody!
  4. Hey! Did you guys know I'm writing a book?
  5. @GwynethPaltrow Im a little behind in following you. But now that i have started, Gwyneth will you follow me?
  6. @madeinbrazil78 your welcome!
  7. Finally. I can brush my teeth with confidence. Thank you @JustinBieber! yfrog.com/h4x3qfnj
  8. Finally. I can brush w yfrog.com/oejz0cruj
  9. Happy Wednesday night everybody everybody!
  10. I apologize to all abt #Exorcist joke. I said it because it does happen in the film and I don't want the very lovely and kind Brooke Shi ...
  11. Wow! @BrookeShields is doing #TheExorcist at The @TheGeffen this Fall. Boy..I don't know if i can handle seeing her masturbate with a cross.
  12. Downloading confusingly titled but must hear song "Eminence Front" by @TheWho. Now #LedZeppelin. All I need now is a keg & someone's yard
  13. Does anybody know where my watch is?
  14. Hey Mr. #Umpire during the NationalBraves #baseball game. Heard about your "ball" accident. Anything I can do?
  15. Thank you lovely people of Salt Lake City, Utah and @wiseguys for your good taste and your attentiveness. You go! You smart #Mormons you.
  16. #SoldOut is always a good thing to hear.
  17. @ChrisKattan @PatriciaHeaton me miss you too!
  18. @PatriciaHeaton soon! You super gifted star of the hit show #TheMiddle and Emmy winning Star on The Walk of Fame!
  19. Gotta say, the audience is superior here @wiseguysutah. Thanks for the yummy vibes #SaltLakeCity!
  20. 2 more shows at @wiseguys Salt Lake City #tonight at 7 and 9. If your coming, don't forget to wear your sharpest pants. In a #funny mood ...