chrisjordan
thinking of taking up competitive swimming just so I can eat 10,000 calories a day. So what if I can only dog paddle...
| wondering who stole my daughter and replaced her with a raving lunatic? |
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| @slynnro but I paid for them, therefore they are mine. |
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| @NoPasaNada And you never thought to invite ME to go to the movies with you? |
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| realizing I do not fit in with the football parents. Seeing how I don't smoke, don't swear at my kids, wear a bra, and have all my teeth. |
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| He also loves when I: back the car over the lawn, leave 5 baskets of dirty laundry blocking the way to the bathroom, and stop in Target. |
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| staring at my long to do list and wondering why the longer the list the less likely I am to do any of it. Husband LOVES that about me |
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| Going to orthopedist. Should be fun as son CUT HALF THE CAST OFF. Don't blame me for your deformed finger,son |
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| picking blueberries off bushes in our backyard. why can't summer last forever? |
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| @Mom101 @Mir @finslippy @herbadmother I got that pitch too. Only they addressed me as Mr. Trenches. Ummm, alrighty then! |
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| son in cast with broken finger. might need surgery. son already plotting how to modify his cast to still play ball. Really, son? Really?? |
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| If you never hear from me again, I died of old age in drs waiting room |
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| waiting for call back from orthopedist. And so begins football season. Can I direct deposit my paychecks into doctor's account? |
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| sick. And complaining about it. Purell...you let me down. |
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| thinking about unpacking. Alternately thinking about putting suitcase in closet with clothing still inside. |
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| Just told daughter, "I'm not a baby, YOU are." Next up kicking puppies. |
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| Wondering where the hell summer is? Hate being cold and REFUSE to turn the heat back on. |
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| @herbadmother HURRAY! Congratulations. |
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| working the words ASS CAMERA into conversation whenever possible |
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| Welcome to middle age. Here have some invasive procedures! |
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