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chrisilluminati

I'm gonna play hangman with your stick figure window decal family and guess Z every time about 11 hours ago via web
I figured Aquaman would be the gay superhero since he's always around Seamen 6:24 PM Jun 1st via web
Saying you graduated from the "school of hard knocks" is code for "I failed out of community college" 2:35 PM Jun 1st via web
We get it. The Wire was good. Ended 5 years ago. Let's all move on. 1:08 PM Jun 1st via web
This stubble on my chin is a "gotye" because it's somewhere that I used to shave 10:34 AM Jun 1st via web
@dafourth an actual javelin 8:34 PM May 31st via web in reply to dafourth
@Schindizzle Love is letting her choose which side of the bed she wants -- I mean she is your mom after all. 8:34 PM May 31st via web in reply to Schindizzle
@SarahHorvat it will be televised on NBC 6:40 PM May 31st via Twitter for iPhone in reply to SarahHorvat
@deanwinkleson I would dominate (closing ceremonies) 6:20 PM May 31st via Twitter for iPhone in reply to deanwinkleson
@AmyVernon gotta be a country that needs a slow, white dude scared of competition 6:14 PM May 31st via Twitter for iPhone in reply to AmyVernon
I think I'll try out for the Olympics 6:11 PM May 31st via Twitter for iPhone
@AaronKaro check out my new collection of words meant to resemble a book bit.ly/KgaXsD 5:48 PM May 31st via web
Just bought my #GGvDW ticket. It's going down like Blanche Devereaux on a silver haired golf pro. 12:59 PM May 31st via web
loudwire Zombie Apocalypse Playlist: Five Rob Zombie Songs for Fighting the Undead bit.ly/Nk0MAL 10:55 AM May 31st via twitterfeed Retweeted by chrisilluminati and 4 others
The book the New York Times called "the second best book this year with everything else tied for first" amazon.com/Thank-You-For-… 9:35 AM May 31st via web
I'm eating a bowl of Chex cereal and drinking whiskey and if that's not the mark of a champion I'm not sure what is 7:49 PM May 30th via Twitter for iPhone
@a_crezo you do? What's the topic? Can I choose? I choose gifts for free range chickens 7:47 PM May 30th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to a_crezo
@SerenaKariya Would you take a photo of an autograph? 5:03 PM May 30th via web in reply to SerenaKariya
Game of Thrones is when I crap in every toilet in the house but only flush one. BUT WHICH?!? 3:24 PM May 30th via Twitter for iPhone
@NicholasKrueger it's perfectly natural 2:52 PM May 30th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to NicholasKrueger

Name Chris Illuminati
Location New Jersey
Web http://thankyoufo...
Bio Aspiring Annie Sez model. Rhinestone cowboy. Author. Friend to all buttons. Managing Editor of @Guy_Speed. It's my real last name. It's written in my underwear.