Get short, timely messages from Chris Billett.

Twitter is a rich source of instantly updated information. It's easy to stay updated on an incredibly wide variety of topics. Join today and follow @chrisbillett.

Get updates via SMS by texting follow chrisbillett to 40404 in the United States
Codes for other countries

Country	Code	For customers of
Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:
Australia	0198089488 Telstra
Canada	21212 (any)
United Kingdom	86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
Indonesia	89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland	51210 O2
India	53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon
Jordan	90903 Zain
New Zealand	8987 Vodafone, Telecom NZ
United States	40404 (any)

chrisbillett

RT @MartinRossiter "I'm playing at @Meadowfest this Sunday. @sweetsweetlies will be there too. I'll be better, but it will be close." about 12 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
It would be uncharacteristic yet entertaining for the Monaco Grand Prix to end with a beheading this year, given Sky's Princess Grace joke. 4:51 AM May 27th via web
Hey @wonderella, when you guys super speed through revolving doors to save Lois Lane or some shit, does anyone in there already get blended? 9:56 AM May 12th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to wonderella
Donald Trump's nickname is 'The Trump', and was given to him by his first wife. Her name? Ivana Trump. People who live in glass houses... 8:53 PM May 10th via web
I'm just waiting for Romney to top Obama by coming out in support of polygamy... 8:06 PM May 9th via web
Infinitely improving Jaws by shouting 'Fenton! Fenton! Oh Christ, Fenton!' whenever the shark's attacking... 8:28 PM May 6th via Twitter for iPhone
RT @wonderella: "Live every day like it's Star Wars Day. Oh wait, you little pricks already do." 9:16 AM May 4th via Twitter for iPhone
RT @wonderella: "An Apple ad just showed Zooey Deschanel talking to Siri about rain and soup. Granted, she'd discuss them with a lamp." 10:56 AM Apr 21st via Twitter for iPhone
RT @wonderella: "Marijuana really does nothing for me, though I will endorse pretty much any product once it is legalized." - what she said! 10:55 AM Apr 21st via Twitter for iPhone
I was going to write a story about Abu Hamza, but I can't think of a hook... 5:39 AM Apr 17th via web
BBC News: 'Drought may last until Christmas' - if they think I'm asking for rain for Christmas, they should think again. 4:16 AM Apr 16th via web
If North Korea keeps firing rockets into the sea like this, they're gonna get a visit from a really pissed off Aquaman. 1:54 AM Apr 13th via Twitter for iPhone
'Your chance to receive membership to the Adobe Creative Cloud' - something tells me I'll let this one pass me by... 8:08 AM Apr 12th via web
RT @TheRealJackDee: "Congratulations to Oxford and Cambridge for once again making it to the finals of the Boat Race." 4:44 AM Apr 10th via web
RT @wonderella: "I am angrily BOYCOTTING the place I never shopped at anyway, please RT if you hate bad things" 8:22 AM Apr 6th via Twitter for iPhone
Delays due to a person under a train? Surely they'd clear quicker if they speed them up, not slow them down. (New take on an old problem...) 4:11 AM Apr 4th via Twitter for iPhone
RT @al_robertson: "Am pondering offering supper with me for £50. Great conversation, & my policy on H.P. Lovecraft is up for grabs!" 2:14 AM Apr 4th via Twitter for iPhone
TomToms are misreporting their location because of a leap year bug? Just how fast are tectonic plates moving these days? 1:26 PM Apr 3rd via web
Catwoman eh? Wouldn't want to meet her on a dark knight... 2:02 PM Mar 14th via Twitter for iPhone
If anyone's thinking of going postal soon, everyone worth hating in the world is currently queueing for free lattes outside Starbucks. 3:22 AM Mar 14th via web

Name Chris Billett
Location Hove, England
Web http://www.cantca...
Bio Almost certainly a pimp and a prostitute too. Obnoxious tweets by @chrisbillett do not necessarily represent the opinion or policy of a sober Chris Billett...