chokeychicken
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My big problem with Stephen King's "It" is that it's not really specific enough.
about 2 hours ago
from UberTwitter
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@ at least it's not delivery.
about 17 hours ago
from UberTwitter
in reply to crackbarbie
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Went sledding tonight. It was great but I really wish my 8th grade science teacher had focused more on the effect of alcohol on aerodynamics
about 17 hours ago
from UberTwitter
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If I plan on having long term Twitter material, I'm eventually going to have to steal someone else's kids.
about 18 hours ago
from UberTwitter
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This game I'm playing called "try to find an outlet for your dying Blackberry in the retail store" is a lot harder than you might think.
about 23 hours ago
from UberTwitter
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Brittany Murphy has died and all I can think about is what a miserable holiday season Eminem is about to have.
11:44 AM Dec 20th
from UberTwitter
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I'm at my parents house for the weekend so I hid my bottle of Whiskey under the kitchen sink. Just in case my little sister gets thirsty.
1:35 PM Dec 19th
from web
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You guys are walking a fine line with this iPhone scrabble stuff. Because I can't seem to find the app called "Words with talking avatars."
11:12 AM Dec 19th
from web
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When I said I was coming home to spend time with my "family," I meant my extended Mafia family. I thought I made that pretty clear, Mom.
6:04 PM Dec 18th
from web
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I think the people in this restaurant would be a lot more understanding of my zipper being down if I was wearing underwear.
4:54 PM Dec 18th
from UberTwitter
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I'm hoping that even though he saw me run through the alley naked last night, my neighbor is still planning on attending my holiday party.
2:14 PM Dec 18th
from UberTwitter
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A friend spilled alcohol on my laptop and Apple quoted $1500 for repair. Naturally, I took the logical route and got 15,000 taquitos instead
11:01 AM Dec 18th
from UberTwitter
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I bought holiday cards to mail to clients today. Since "Merry Christmas" is so offensive, I went the conservative route: "Jesus isn't real."
6:41 PM Dec 17th
from UberTwitter
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Oprah reached out to Tiger Woods. So she could sleep with him. In all caps. For no reason.
3:47 PM Dec 17th
from web
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I don't like to RT somebody else's joke, so please check out @. Her last one made laugh harder than I have in a long time.
10:34 AM Dec 17th
from UberTwitter
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All I want for Christmas is to be able to drink orange juice and brush my teeth in the same day.
9:56 AM Dec 17th
from UberTwitter
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In an ideal world Alex Trebek would have a handlebar mustache and there would be something better on television.
5:04 PM Dec 16th
from UberTwitter
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@ oh good, you're home for the holidays. Grab the eggnog and we'll start hanging stockings on grandma's pubic hair.
10:04 AM Dec 16th
from web
in reply to Boner_Stabone
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So, is @ still a thing? I hope so. I can't make all the dirty jokes on my own.
10:01 AM Dec 16th
from web
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The first rule about the Passive Aggressive Club is whatever, don't worry about it. No, really. Forget it.
5:26 PM Dec 15th
from UberTwitter
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- Name Chokey
- Location Richmond, VA
- Web http://favstar.fm...
- Bio The self-proclaimed king of modern karaoke. I can't hold a note, but tequila improves my singing voice.
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