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ChelseaDagger5

  1. Fuck the diamond. Propose to me with THIS! "@MadMoonie: twitter.com/MadMoonie/stat…"
  2. My mother says "Zombie A-crop-o-lips"
  3. Fuck you hangover. twitter.com/ChelseaDagger5…
  4. a 19yo mom forgot her 5 week old baby on the roof of her car and drove off. She was high.
  5. I have a pair of shoes I specifically use for hangover days. They help me not fall over.
  6. You know the good thing about hangovers? Hangover food =]
  7. So, does anyone wanna tell me why last night was a good idea? Because honestly, I think swimming with hungry sharks would have gone better.
  8. Got the fire department helping me get to work today. Thanks boys
  9. All I want is to schmoke and go back to bed.
  10. @FunkeeTowel *waves hands at them bitches hatin' on me with their friends*
  11. No Im not happy to see you There's a hedgehog in my pocket.
  12. I forgot how Avenged Sevenfold makes me feel. And I hate to quote another band but, in all this chaos, I found safety.
  13. Spending the night calling emergency rooms and an unanswered number.
  14. Masquerading as a man with a reason, My charade is the event of the season.
  15. The cab driver managed to blame me for getting lost. Cute.
  16. My cab driver is completely and utterly lost. He got lost going down New Dorp Lane claiming he was looking for New Dorp and Castleton.
  17. No more shaving in a rush. Idiot. twitter.com/ChelseaDagger5…
  18. Just had a cigarette on the train. Fuck it. #rebel
  19. Really loving this 2 hour commute today. Especially since the train is stuck and were 20 mins behind!
  20. @SexpertJaneBlow can you diagram that for me? Before I wake up next to another crazy ass woman?