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charlie_alp

  1. "Don't give Ben a fork, Mama. He might charge us."
  2. "No, it's pronounced FRONK-en-steen." http://twitpic.com/n70d0
  3. "Mama, want to see my double-dealing treachery?" Sure, Charlie, right after I BURN this I-Can-Read book about spies.
  4. Hey, go talk with @stirrupqueen! (Thanks, @fertilityauthor.)
  5. "Mmmm, rubbery oatmeal! That's my favorite kind." So I may assume I have your vote for the Beard Award...?
  6. J.: "We're kind to everyone, even if they look different from us." C.: "We're even kind to CLOWNS!" Whoa, kid, let's not get crazy.
  7. "My friend team is girl-free!" Hastily added, seeing my expression, "...But girls are still PEOPLE..."
  8. "Let's have an argument about love!" Oh, so THAT'S who filched my copy of _Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?_
  9. Ah, Dr. Kitten Wizard Pizza Hunter CleanBot 3000, I presume, nice and early. Wouldn't want to wait till SUNRISE for imaginative play, right?
  10. "Behold! My thumb is GIGANTIC!" I am impressed, GiantThumbMan, by your staggering superpower: elephantiasis.
  11. E-mailing a song to Paul's dead mother using his toy Barney phone. There is so much wrong with this, I simply don't know where to start.
  12. J.: "I'm going to the bathroom." C.: "Good luck!" What, is there a lotto ticket machine in there now?
  13. "Careful touching here." [Indicating nose.] "It's just BURSTING with mucus!" The next gift I buy for a new baby is gonna be a tarp.
  14. "It's okay that we're out of milk. You can just make more with your brrrrEASTS!" Oh. Dude. You do NOT want to start this conversation.
  15. @finslippy Too late. Assuming sudden insatiable urge to do nothing but play Tetris is purely coincidental.
  16. Eureka! The world's first artificial heart with wheels. Oh, and a single malevolent unblinking eye. http://twitpic.com/gk9qn
  17. "Mama, I'm making you an artificial heart. It WILL hurt when I attach it to you. YES, IT WILL." What's he gonna use, jumper cables?
  18. "Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get run over! Because he liked getting smashed by tires!" ...Comedy is hard.
  19. J.: "What did you do today?" C.: "Oh, just went about my regular kid business." Well, sound the everything's okay alarm!
  20. Darkly: "Well, _I_ don't think we're lucky to have a baby like Ben." Ahahahaha. Ohhhh. WELL. As to that...