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charlie_alp

  1. "Don't give Ben a fork, Mama. He might charge us."4:08 PM Nov 2nd from Tweetie
  2. "No, it's pronounced FRONK-en-steen." http://twitpic.com/n70d02:43 PM Oct 27th from Tweetie
  3. "Mama, want to see my double-dealing treachery?" Sure, Charlie, right after I BURN this I-Can-Read book about spies.2:59 PM Oct 26th from Tweetie
  4. Hey, go talk with @stirrupqueen! (Thanks, @fertilityauthor.)9:05 AM Oct 19th from Tweetie
  5. "Mmmm, rubbery oatmeal! That's my favorite kind." So I may assume I have your vote for the Beard Award...?6:40 AM Oct 19th from Tweetie
  6. J.: "We're kind to everyone, even if they look different from us." C.: "We're even kind to CLOWNS!" Whoa, kid, let's not get crazy.3:20 PM Sep 27th from Tweetie
  7. "My friend team is girl-free!" Hastily added, seeing my expression, "...But girls are still PEOPLE..."9:08 AM Sep 24th from Tweetie
  8. "Let's have an argument about love!" Oh, so THAT'S who filched my copy of _Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?_6:37 AM Sep 22nd from Tweetie
  9. Ah, Dr. Kitten Wizard Pizza Hunter CleanBot 3000, I presume, nice and early. Wouldn't want to wait till SUNRISE for imaginative play, right?8:07 AM Sep 15th from Tweetie
  10. "Behold! My thumb is GIGANTIC!" I am impressed, GiantThumbMan, by your staggering superpower: elephantiasis.4:48 AM Sep 13th from Tweetie
  11. E-mailing a song to Paul's dead mother using his toy Barney phone. There is so much wrong with this, I simply don't know where to start.10:30 AM Sep 8th from Tweetie
  12. J.: "I'm going to the bathroom." C.: "Good luck!" What, is there a lotto ticket machine in there now?6:54 AM Sep 8th from Tweetie
  13. "Careful touching here." [Indicating nose.] "It's just BURSTING with mucus!" The next gift I buy for a new baby is gonna be a tarp.5:22 AM Sep 8th from Tweetie
  14. "It's okay that we're out of milk. You can just make more with your brrrrEASTS!" Oh. Dude. You do NOT want to start this conversation.8:34 AM Sep 6th from Tweetie
  15. @finslippy Too late. Assuming sudden insatiable urge to do nothing but play Tetris is purely coincidental.7:37 AM Sep 5th from Tweetie in reply to finslippy
  16. Eureka! The world's first artificial heart with wheels. Oh, and a single malevolent unblinking eye. http://twitpic.com/gk9qn6:43 AM Sep 5th from twhirl
  17. "Mama, I'm making you an artificial heart. It WILL hurt when I attach it to you. YES, IT WILL." What's he gonna use, jumper cables?5:19 AM Sep 5th from Tweetie
  18. "Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get run over! Because he liked getting smashed by tires!" ...Comedy is hard.5:06 AM Sep 5th from web
  19. J.: "What did you do today?" C.: "Oh, just went about my regular kid business." Well, sound the everything's okay alarm!6:57 AM Sep 4th from twhirl
  20. Darkly: "Well, _I_ don't think we're lucky to have a baby like Ben." Ahahahaha. Ohhhh. WELL. As to that...5:50 AM Sep 3rd from web