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celebnotes

  1. Jeremy Piven's gonna end his run on "Speed-the-Plow"? With a title like that, something must be wrong with him to stop him from being in it.
  2. Mariah Carey is the ultimate virgin bride... And Nick Cannon didn't learn from Nick Lachey's mistakes...
  3. OMG. The Scientologists next target: Amy Winehouse.
  4. Larry Flynt, is looking for a Sarah Palin lookalike for a porno. Just a heads up for you Tina Fey...
  5. Oh, Reese Witherspoon. First Ryan Phillipe, now Jake Gyllenhaal? Clearly, only the most feminine of women will do for them. Or of men...
  6. Madonna has made her coiled and veiny body the most luscious and delectable of all the world. If you disagree, then YOU SIR are blind!
  7. Sarah Palin is so goshdarn adorable don'tcha know?? Well, you betcha she's gonna be the most dagnabbit best n' cutest VP candidate ever!
  8. Celebnotes writer here. I write mostly in cafes. One question: What is so hard to understand about the "Occupied" sign on the bathroom door?
  9. Britney Spears has a sex tape. Let's hope nobody falls for Adnan Ghalib's "charm". For the sake of the world's sanity.
  10. And Clay Aiken is gay... What a surprise and shock to my system!
  11. Natalie Portman is single! Everybody throw your hands up and celebrate! Or keep them down... I don't really care either.
  12. George Michael got arrested again. In another bathroom. But this time, not for masturbating. Just crack cocaine. Big surprise, huh?
  13. In totally unrelated news, Pamela Andersen showed up in London with her ginormous boobs in tow.
  14. OMG! Travis Barker and DJ AM are hurt in a plane crash! ::Cries for the future of music:: AHH!
  15. Now Jessica Simpson is a country music chart topper? What does this say about the state of country music?! OH LORD NO!
  16. Eva Longoria is fat, not pregnant.
  17. George Takei finally gets married! Yay! I'm so happy! :)
  18. Britney Spears is coming out with a new album in Decemeber! YEAH! Finally! Some real music!
  19. To warm up her voice, Jessica Simpson likes to make a special puree of strawberries, bananas, and one special ingredient: crushed fire ants.
  20. Matt Damon thinks John McCain is gonna die in the next four years and the possibility of Sarah Palin being president a bad Disney movie.