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carrmah

  1. If you're looking for me in the morning, I'll be passed out in front of my neighbor's lawn posing as a deflated-blowup-Santa lawn ornament. about 9 hours ago from web
  2. I'm at a great party with really fun people except for that drunk idiot in the corner updating my twitter status. about 12 hours ago from UberTwitter
  3. I have fond childhood memories of decorating the tree as our family sung "Please Daddy Don't get Drunk this Christmas" about 13 hours ago from web
  4. Of course I can't remember how old our children are, it's like the number changes every year. about 21 hours ago from UberTwitter
  5. you prolly know this already but @tammyphinney is very funny. #FollowSaturday about 23 hours ago from web
  6. Christmas is the season when I eat chocolate-covered-almonds sprinkled with salt from my tears. about 24 hours ago from UberTwitter
  7. When you see @plaid_lemur let him brag about his 3rd nipple (affectionately named Tripple). Don't mention that it's actually his nose. 6:10 PM Dec 4th from Tweetie in reply to plaid_lemur
  8. I'd go Caroling tonight but the Carols in this town aren't very pretty. 4:11 PM Dec 4th from UberTwitter
  9. @MDuette oops sorry about. 3:37 PM Dec 4th from web in reply to MDuette
  10. Photo: I just got this family Christmas card from the Woods family http://tumblr.com/x6b4ghjza 3:33 PM Dec 4th from Tumblr
  11. RT @Beef_Tongue: It's not even worth coming on with all the childish bullshit about stars. Star however you wish and shut the fuck up. ... 2:20 PM Dec 4th from API
  12. When life gets you drunk on limoncellos, order a limousine. 12:18 PM Dec 4th from UberTwitter
  13. happy holidays, peace & love to everyone. yep, EVERYONE. ♫ http://blip.fm/~haml7 10:45 AM Dec 4th from Blip.fm
  14. RT @rands: Invest in people who build. 2:45 AM Dec 4th from API
  15. RT @BeauBock: I came here to get away from real life drama and laugh a little. That, my friends, is precisely what I intend to do Carr ... ... 5:18 PM Dec 3rd from API
  16. Why can't we all just get a thong? 4:06 PM Dec 3rd from Tweetie
  17. superfluous [soo-pur-floo-uhs] -adjective Allowing someone with h1n1 to sneeze over a group of people. 1:14 PM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter
  18. This too shall pass gas 9:54 AM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter
  19. The folks who processed my blood work have renamed my triglycerides to quadglycerides. 8:35 AM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter
  20. Much to the disappointment of my mother, I'm not @debihope 8:24 AM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter