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cannoncomedy
@MrCowhead what room you in? when everyone falls asleep i'm going to sneak in with a makeshift mustard station. i will handle everything.3:39 PM May 24thvia web
I'm going to be on the next season of the Bachelorette. I'm going to be going in and grabbing the suitcase of the dope she doesn't pick.10:55 PM May 21stvia web
The Kentucky Derby is over. Now only 364 more days before Louisville residents have something to live for.3:34 PM May 5thvia web
An agent recently wanted to rep me. He had a Blackberry. I could never work with someone that has a shittier phone than my 12 yr old nephew5:44 PM May 2ndvia web
If your car breaks down at any point this weekend in front of the Brea Improv stop in. If not I probably won't see you.2:34 PM Apr 27thvia web
Flash mob just ended. Thanks to the nearly 8,000 people that battled the rain and road closures to be here.5:15 PM Apr 23rdvia web
Starting my first flash mob. Come by panda express in Anaheim @ 5 pm. Bring a panda costume. No need to rehearse. It will all come together4:42 PM Apr 23rdvia Twitter for iPhone