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cannedtoona

  1. @surlyZ He looks like a pedophile Baptist televangelist with a shitty sense of humor.
  2. That man can create something so huge to such perfection boggles the mind. I leave you with a salute and a tear in my eye. #MountFlushmore
  3. Dear DFW peeps: I propose we gather a good old-fashioned torch wielding mob to visit Bob Lovell and end the smugness forever. Blesshisheart
  4. @surlyZ Where did it go? Where did it go now? Where did it go-ooooooooo?
  5. @MTBby198 I am.
  6. @obnoxiouskandi I KNOW, RIGHT!? He's just encouraging me.
  7. Just because I used penis wrinkle and hooker in the same comment and he has young nieces as friends. #pffft
  8. Just had a #fb friend delete a comment from his stream as inappropriate. Same guy who is the only one unaware he's dating a lesbian.
  9. RT @TxAdGirl: Hubby realizes we forgot 2 get "real beer" in Texas. Sucks 4 him. gd thing I prefer the hard stuff! ----->*chortle* #inuendo
  10. I'm so fucked when she finds twitter. #pleasemommydontlockmeinthebasementwiththebadmenagain
  11. Related: That fucking EYEBROW is why you should never NEVER EVER friend your mother on facebook. #bitchisluckyididntwaxthatfuckeroffherhead
  12. So my mother drops by for a visit. She says, "I've been reading your facebook page..." *eyebrow raises in slow motion*
  13. @B2BMAN Bullshit. I grip it firmly almost daily.
  14. Okay. Moving on from cooking madeleines to chili. Can already feel my balls reinflating.
  15. Veedizeez = Greek goddess of love (love for a fee). #greekmythologydemythtified
  16. @kkboo999 Sounds lk the party starts by locating security cameras. Girl in the ski mask will B @Mrscannedtoona. U'll nevr C me. #ninjaskillz
  17. Onyaknees = greek goddess of love, famous for her love of playing bagpipes. #greekmythologydemythtified
  18. @kkboo999 On my way, Boo! I'm leaving @Mrscannedtoona with the kids. This party had better be worth the soon-to-follow divorce!
  19. Kids eating < parents drinking. This fucking economy is wreaking havoc on family values!
  20. Herpes = Greek god of love (unprotected love).