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candice

Screw doing things properly. It's * html time. Let's try: * html {display:none;}. Are you seeing the problem *now*???

Welp, I guess I'd *better* make sure to fix this search form, that no one will ever attempt to print, so that it prints properly on IE6 SP1.
50% of taxi driver honks translate to "Turn right already! YES, I do mean run over those pedestrians who have the right of way -- NOW!"
@cyanotic Kinda funny reading text messages sent from your busted ass phone. Betcha you can't even read this. Don't worry, the 11th is soon!
IIRC, today is the day I'm officially able to apply for US citizenship. Too bad those forms cost eleventy bajillion dollars to file.
What's Mr Peanut looking so jovial about on this label? I'm devouring his friends and family.
I enjoy how Fox advertises their Live Power Doppler as 1 million watts. Truly, it wouldn't be as impressive stated in megawatts. 1! 1 MW!
@davedufour Still here, but I was pretty glad to live in a basement for a minute there. Every car alarm for blocks was going off.
Tornado sirens are just... creepy. Didn't have them in Ontario. Freaked me out the first time in Indiana.
And hey, this tornado warning applies to me. Doom is predicted for Montrose Harbor at 8:15.
I guess I approve of having EAS warnings turn mute on my TV off automatically, but can they find a way to turn it back on afterwards?
"Please resist the temptation to tackle these [IE6 SP1] bugs now" -- um, believe me... There is no temptation. Warning fully unecessary.
If that shit is endearing... ADORABLE. Young, childish, pathetic. Scared. Stupid. Insecure. More so than me, even. What? Sad as FUCK. Baby.
If I'm fucking intimidating to you, you are a FUCKING DRIPPY PIECE OF SHIT. FYI yadda yadda. I'm loopy, you must be inavoidably clinical.
I really do have a good sense of direction. Just not in my hometown of Guelph where the map is intentionally a pie on top of a grid.
Driving south to get to a club that's north of us. Hey, your way is probably way faster... Pff. I've come to realise...
If you hear anything else from me tonight, disregard. Sobriety... slipping... - http://bkite.com/017HK
Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion.
The 3-step instructions on this thing rival "1: Open package. 2: Eat nuts." and the classic...
No, really. What happens if I don't point the arrow on the button on a can of Pam towards the red dot? Why is it so IMPORTANT! ???