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cactusprak

  1. I just put on a pair of jeans i havent wore in 6 years for shits and giggles and found 13 bucks! Twitter, will you go see Avatar in 3d ... 3:55 PM Dec 20th from txt
  2. this was a mistake. 2:14 PM Dec 20th from web
  3. Watching the food network with my pants off and trying to remember if i ate at wendy's twice today? 9:38 PM Dec 18th from txt
  4. What pisses me off the most is that people 50 years ago promised wed have flying cars by now. Fuck scientists and the jetsons. 8:35 AM Dec 18th from txt
  5. Ever drink enough caffine and tobacco products to give yourself a heart attack and then try to take a nap? It's like trying to sleep drunk. 8:27 AM Dec 18th from txt
  6. Fucking twitter won't let me finish a complete thought. 2:30 PM Dec 12th from txt
  7. Best way to start every weekend: get hammered drunk on friday, china buffet in the morning, destroy bathroom in best buy, purchase elect ... 2:11 PM Dec 12th from txt
  8. I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!!1 12:42 PM Nov 24th from txt
  9. I find family guy uncomfortably offensive, yet charmingly delightful. 9:26 PM Nov 22nd from txt
  10. State of california, you are officially dead to me. 10:45 AM Nov 15th from txt
  11. Yannow how they say driving tired is the same as driving drunk? Yeah try driving 3 hours after being up for 24. 3:32 PM Oct 31st from txt
  12. Thinking about hiring a hooker so i can drive in the car pool lane. 5:53 PM Oct 28th from txt
  13. Scott bielec is the best singing teacher ever. Happy birthday. 9:00 AM Oct 27th from txt
  14. 1510 to Yuma. 2:37 PM Oct 5th from txt
  15. That's when the shit hit the fan. -Airplane 3:55 AM Oct 3rd from txt
  16. What do badass infantry platoon commanders do when they have mondays off? This one goes shopping to fill in the emptiness. 3:11 PM Sep 28th from txt
  17. Does anyone really "enjoy" camping? Not a happy camper 10:14 PM Sep 21st from txt
  18. Yannow what'd be really funny? Bowling. 4:42 PM Sep 16th from txt
  19. Taking the boys on a field trip. 11:54 AM Sep 16th from txt
  20. On duty all night reading the ayatollah begs to differ. 8:06 PM Sep 14th from txt