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byronbache
If the only nice part of the cake is the top, is it wrong to cut yourself a horizontal slice?about 2 hours agofrom web
Drunk girl just offered me a blowjob in exchange for her bus fare home. Needless to say, I declined.4:30 AM Nov 7thfrom Tweetie
Potentially about to ruin my childhood love of 'Lois and Clark' by rewatching it. Wish me luck.1:55 AM Nov 7thfrom Tweetie
Are you even allowed to be a hairdresser if you've got nice hair? Isn't there some kind of mandatory magenta streaks rule?10:10 PM Nov 6thfrom Tweetie
Seriously, non-specific allergens. What did the skin on my face ever do to you?9:41 PM Nov 6thfrom Tweetie
Have concluded I am in fact allergic to everything. Planning to take up residence in a bubble.9:37 PM Nov 6thfrom Tweetie
Brushed past a girl standing in the doorway of the tram. She immediately pulled out hand sanitiser and applied it at the point of contact.7:27 PM Nov 6thfrom Tweetie
Was the aim of the "makeovers" on Beauty And The Geek to turn them into creepy spraytanned homos, or did something go wrong?2:03 AM Nov 5thfrom Tweetie
Drinking soda that is basically poison in a ring-pull can. It contains 'glycerol ester of wood rosin' AND TASTES SO GOOD.8:31 PM Nov 4thfrom web
Baby storytimes are dangerous. Just got poked in the eye with the corner of a hardcover Charlie and Lola. Fucking Lauren Child.4:20 PM Nov 4thfrom Tweetie
