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byronbache

  1. If the only nice part of the cake is the top, is it wrong to cut yourself a horizontal slice?
  2. @virginia Oh, but they have: http://bit.ly/ZPMNv
  3. @georgiaporgia Ah! I knew there was something else!
  4. Do brooks have a monopoly on babbling, or can other things babble too? What about creeks?
  5. @Lorinimus Yeah. Surprisingly, he can act. And even if he couldn't, it wouldn't matter - he's just so pretty.
  6. @Lorinimus Stopped halfway through to go for a walk. First half was ace. Full report tomorrow.
  7. @jellyjellyfish It was outside Mosskito.
  8. Drunk girl just offered me a blowjob in exchange for her bus fare home. Needless to say, I declined.
  9. Potentially about to ruin my childhood love of 'Lois and Clark' by rewatching it. Wish me luck.
  10. Are you even allowed to be a hairdresser if you've got nice hair? Isn't there some kind of mandatory magenta streaks rule?
  11. Seriously, non-specific allergens. What did the skin on my face ever do to you?
  12. Have concluded I am in fact allergic to everything. Planning to take up residence in a bubble.
  13. Brushed past a girl standing in the doorway of the tram. She immediately pulled out hand sanitiser and applied it at the point of contact.
  14. Was the aim of the "makeovers" on Beauty And The Geek to turn them into creepy spraytanned homos, or did something go wrong?
  15. @jellyjellyfish Pet hate: "Cyberbullying" as a concept. Bullying is bullying. Why rename it for its medium?
  16. Drinking soda that is basically poison in a ring-pull can. It contains 'glycerol ester of wood rosin' AND TASTES SO GOOD.
  17. Baby storytimes are dangerous. Just got poked in the eye with the corner of a hardcover Charlie and Lola. Fucking Lauren Child.
  18. @snazzydee I just bought Party Animals on a whim. Glad to hear it rocks.
  19. @jasperschultz Oh no! We did the same joke. That'll teach me to tweet before I read.
  20. Glazed Lobster (noun): A lobster whose generously applied foundation has melted, resulting in an oily sheen.